Blessed

I really haven't written in ages. Frankly I've been too busy to sit down and ramble. I don't plan to ramble tonight - just want to note how grateful I am that I am so blessed. Although I am at moments experiencing some seriously stressful times because I really don't know how I might survive financially or how I am going to provide for my family - I just pray and keep the faith. Tonight I sat down and started cutting out images and words for my vision board. Over the course of the past couple days I must really be tapped into to the universal energy because I've subconsciously made some choices that were exactly right on - so the time is now - to start manifesting. Why wait or have expectations for another day when if you really believe just let life unfold.

Te's thoughts

Tonight when I got home with groceries and Te was putting the veggies away in the fridge. He didn't miss a beat when I asked him if it would be OK for dad to drop him off at school tomorrow and I would pick him up. Te's response, "I think that sounds wonderful, uhhhh...but sorry...no." So there you have it. The kid is really quite frank - I love it.

I also learned that Te's food preference is "Paul & Mary Jean's" - our friends who own Cucina di Paolo. I called earlier on my way home and asked if I could bring him something home to eat, "Something from Paul & Mary Jean's."

*This is a self-portrait 12/3/2008

Window Shopping

Photo Credit: David R. Day, American Photo Source

Dirty Laundry

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast,
the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the
wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap"

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Everytime her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see
a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I won der wh o taught her this?"

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others,
depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

This was sent to me by a friend.

CMT

Country Music Channel I think is what it stands for...

Sometimes I watch it for kicks - Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders "Training Camp" and Redneck Weddings. Redneck Weddings - oh it's awful, humorous for sure, but kind of awful when a brother marries a sister - who cares if she's adopted!

Anyways - they have a show called "Crossroads" where musical artists play together and collaborate on singing each others songs. Last night I watched it because my niece Chelsea had watched it earlier in the evening and it was a repeat. Crossroads last night featured Taylor Swift & Def Leppard. It was awesome. I became a new fan of Taylor Swift and went out and bought an album today. When she was singing I was thinking about my young friend Taylor Marley and envisioning her on stage performing - it is easy to do if you know my friend. I talked to Mikey today and she said a while ago that Mackey curled her hair put on a hat and looked just like Taylor Swift, sort of ironic.

Taylor Swift
 
More CMT Music
 
More CMT Music Videos

Taylor Swift
 
More CMT Music
 
More CMT Music Videos

It's kind of strange - since yesterday I feel really engaged in my life. I always say "Live like you mean it" and do not get me wrong - I do live my life - but really since yesterday I didn't realize that "auto pilot" has been on for awhile. Just in the last 36 hours I actually feel alive. Can't explain it. Anyways - it's been awesome "waking up."

Peace out.

Art for Art

Yet another one of my many manifestations. If you're in Boise please come check it out!

44th President

As I write this post Barack Obama has been declared the 44th President. He currently has 338 electoral votes to McCain's 129. He has 51% of the popular vote. I pray that God will guide him wisely, justly, and lovingly. May God protect Obama and his family and keep him from harms way. During this time may God protect and love us all kindly as we transition into a new era in the United States of America. No matter what people have been saying or thinking on both sides of the line - nothing could be worse then what we've endured for the past few years. If the Republican party had confidence in McCain's VP selection this would be an entirely different election.

May this be the stepping stone where the boundaries of creed and color truly begin to disintegrate - that tolerance and acceptance become real not talked about - where we look into a strangers eyes and see ourselves. May this be the beginning of true Christ-like consciousness where we truly love without judgement.

Peace!

Luminosity and Knowing

With persistent practice, consciousness may eventually be perceived or felt as an entity of mere luminosity and knowing, to which anything is capable of appearing and which, when appropriate conditions arise, can be generated in the image of whatsoever object. As long as the mind does not encounter the external circumstance of conceptuality, it will abide empty without anything appearing in it, like clear water. Its very entity is that of mere experience. Let the mind flow of its own accord without conceptual overlay. Let the mind rest in its natural state, and observe it. In the beginning, when you are not used to this practice, it is quite difficult, but in time the mind appears like clear water.


--The Dalai Lama, in The Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness, edited by Sidney Piburn
from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book

Grace

So I have been learning about grace - or shall I say - an interpretation of grace. I don't understand how people do not know, cannot feel, participate or be partly gracious. I think it is an innate part of our spirit - some tap into the wonderful powers of grace, while others do not believe it exists.

The beauty of human consciousness, free will, this experience of growing spiritually called life is an ever-lasting evolution of beingness that has no boundaries, definition, or limits.

I love the synchronicity of life - I love how God provides. Just as I am finally grounded and caught in the printing front I am bombarded with more work to keep me busy, to keep me floating - to provide me with the opportunity to live in grace. Showered by the plethora of wonder and opportunity that always fills my days.

Last night I was reading and I felt like I was a little out of body - in a good way. Pondering, questioning this physical body that my spirits resides in. It really is so surreal when you try to think about what we represent and try desperately to define it. There are no definitions, there are no boundaries - so does that mean we should look at ourselves as limitless, because we are, we are limitless.

Spread your wings and fly - we are meant to soar. Let the sun fill your soul and may you shine like a beacon in the night - bless this life.

Digesting

I wish I had time to sit down, reflect, and digest. My life has been quite overwhelming for the past few months and I feel like I have lost a little of who I am. It may not be an entirely bad thing - since now that I am starting to breath a little deeper I have time to reflect on how I am going to maintain balance.

Being an entrepreneur is great - no qualms there - but I seriously needed a vacation or a slight hiatus before taking on this venture. I needed some serious time to regroup, although now, I am a lot more liberated. I know business is business. I also have the philosophy of if my customer can't wait - then maybe I am not the one to deliver the cake. I do not want to have my life led where I am constantly struggling to maintain my sanity and losing valuable time with myself and with my family.

I am just going to keep keeping on - I like what I do - I am very liberated and that in and of itself is the greatest reward I can give myself in regards to a job or a career. I need to allow people to help me; something I have a really hard time doing. I need to depend on my community of good friends and associates to see things through. Trust myself that I have surrounded myself with quality people.

Cheers.

Holy Cow

The other day Te and I were driving and he made a comment to me about something and my response was "Holy Cow!" Te then inquired, "what does holy cow mean mom?" I said, "holy cow means wow!" Te then says, "Why don't you just say wow mom?" So I went on and said "wow!" A few minutes later after Te has sucked down his strawberry soy milk from Moxie Java he says, "That was frickin' ass good mom!" My ears were like "what?" I said to Te, "What does frickin' ass good mean?" Te says, "It means delicious." My response is then, "Why can't you just say delicious?" Frickin' ass has become his words of choice the past couple days. I am trying really hard not to harp on the words being inappropriate because I don't want him to thinks it's funny and off limits and just continue to say it in spite. It's just like when he use to say "God" and I just kept correcting him with the right words and it turned into "goodness." So frickin' ass good is on the words to transform - especially before it harms the ears of his fellow classmates, teacher, aunties, papas, etc.

Along with that earlier in the week Te informed me that he has camouflage eyes. Do you know what camouflage eyes are? Camouflage eyes are eyes that can see and find anything. He then was watching a Mickey Mouse episode where they were trying to spot some sheep and Te told me, "Mom, Mickey doesn't have camouflage eyes like me."

Gotta love how they grow. More to come now that life is sort of settling down.

Happy Images

Surreal Life

Currently striving for sanity. This whole business transition - preparing for Art in the Park...going home to Sandpoint has only set me behind more which I knew it would. Te and I had a great time on the river - although I will admit I did not feel completely like myself. Last Wednesday night I pulled an all-nighter and thus had a total of 15 minutes of sleep before loading onto an airplane bound for North Idaho. I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. I keep running into obstacles and what does one do - you just do.

I went to Ziggy Marley at the Festival on Friday night. I was thinking about buying a ticket - but at $60 a shot with not much moola to spare - I opted to wait and see what God and the Universe presented me with. I was presented with an opportunity to get in for free so all well and good. However, I almost got my ass-kicked by a refrigerator size woman whom I accidentally poured beer down her back while trying to get to the front of the stage. (Sidenote: Karma was just reacting swiftly - I did deserve to get my ass kicked. Refrigerator girl wouldn't let us through and I pretended to bonk her with my beer bottle and the beer went down her back. Whoops.) Anyways - I was confronted with the reality that perhaps my husband and my son were walking on me. In hindsight I should of reacted more to the conversation - but again - with lack of sleep and not being my usual competent self I almost bought into the idea. It was weird. People making observations of Te on Thursday - in a new place, new people - and not wanting to listen to his mother. People minus knowing that Te has had very, very limited parent time because we have both been too damn busy. Jeff on the other hand if he does take advantage does not do intentionally. I know that I take on more for the simple fact of sanity. Jeff does not tolerate stress well - I do not tolerate Jeff's stressful self well...so I do more to keep the peace and to keep my sanity. I would rather carry the weight of the world then to ask Jeff because I can do a better job. My tolerance level is far greater than probably most - and some may see it as a weakness, but really, life is not worth the roller-coaster.

I can hardly wait for balance. Yesterday I was stressed about getting a job out that's about two weeks behind. Today same thing. Printing on the press and delving into a new art form or trade and just getting geared up. I desperately wanted to complete one job in one day - if I got two done - fucking sweet. However, obstacles as they may be are not worth fretting. I just succumbed to the fact that shit will get done when it gets done - I believe in timing - if people want to get bent that is completely their choice. I can acknowledge it but not own it. The only thing I want to own is learning to see the beauty in all things at all times.

Art in the Park is two weeks away. Football starts next weekend. Te goes to meet his first teacher on Wednesday and then he starts preschool on the 2nd of September. Papa Tom is off to England on the 3rd - I really believe after Art in the Park sanity will surface. I'll keep you alll posted.

Time is like a River

Constantly changing, evolving, progressing...never stagnate...always exciting. Unlike being caught in a river - focused in the moment - time is something we are always trying to manipulate and control looking forwards and backwards but never being present. I am surely learning the meaning of "present." It is almost surreal how my days have been passing. There are moments where I feel I do not have enough time - and times where time stands still. Over the past two days with the hoopla of the transition of the business and planning Tom's party now done and over - I go to work and feel like time is practically standing still. And the stillness is truly a wonderful and blissful place to be at this juncture.

I do not have a clock plugged in so an hour has felt more like two or three hours of peace. Jeff brought a clock in early this afternoon and I do not know whether or not I want to plug it in. I work solely off my internal clock - I have ever since I quit mowing lawns and had to keep a schedule - twelve years ago. Now that I work for myself it's a completely different experience - actually quite fulfilling. Granted I don't know when the money will roll in to cover my life expenses I trust in the Divine and believe all will settle well. It's crazy how centered I finally feel - it proves perhaps I am on my right path. I see signs almost daily with constant deja vu and know that the lesson I am learning which I have been seeking is stillness in the moment. Appreciating where I am and infusing it with love and gratitude. Actually learning to nurture all things and reflecting on how all things, all animals, all everything is a simple soul reflection. The sour stuff is the sour part of us and you gotta learn to love the sour to really appreciate the goodness and richness of life. Love is power.

Short on Leisure Time

Today I learned to operate my newly acquired two-color press, once I figure out it's quirks I think I'll manage just fine. It's always fun to learn and do new things. I feel like I am constantly working - really - constantly working. Tonight I've had a few minutes to cruise the Internet to just check things out but my mind is so FULL of "to-dos" that I forget what I was just thinking about looking up. Sorta pathetic.

We are due to be out of our old location by the end of the month -it's going to bite us in the bum sooner then later. Our little shop now is getting stacked full of paper and other things that need to eventually migrate to our residence. I am tired of moving piles here piles there but we really have no choice.

My niece Chelsea showed up this past weekend so that has been a blessing. We had a decent show in the historic Idaho town of Roseberry over the 4th and now ZuCru will be kicking our asses too. I am not complaining really - just seriously overwhelmed with how all I do is work, work, work.

The garden is growing lovely so am excited to start enjoying the harvest. I think I am gearing up to take the locovore challenge. You would think being a vendor at the Farmers Market would make it an easy challenge - but as most vendors will tell you - they never get to shop. Now Chelsea can man the booth and I'll do some shopping!

Tata for now.

Classic Calvin

Sweet shot eh?

Te in Studio

June 1 was Te's first official turn in the potter's studio. Jeff thinks I need to practice turning more since I always have these brilliant ideas I want him to manifest - but he would prefer to manifest his own ideas. As I practiced turning a couple bowls Jeff officially introduced Te to clay. Yeah - Te already knows clay - he goes into the studio whenever he can to kipe slip chips (as I call them) from the recycle clay can so he can crumble 'em. And yes - Te plays with Play-Doh - playing with clay however is taking it to the next level. Te & Jeff rolled out slabs and cookie cut their little hearts out for well over two hours. Te would ball up all his clay leftover from cutting out shapes - run over to the slab roller - place his clay between the canvas sheets - and say "my turn." It's kind of fun to work the slab roller when you're 3. It's like driving a big steering wheel. Eventually Te started taking his completed pieces and throwing them on the bat on another table. He was becoming quite proficient in the studio. We'll use the little cookie cutter dinos, animals, and cars for glaze testing - put them on a string and hang them in Te's room. It was a rather fun Sunday evening. And I still have an idea I need to create which I was just reminded of as I post. Hmm. I started it that evening - then crushed it to start new. The facial expressions of Jeff & Te are pretty classic in the quick photo op I did. Enjoy. Life is good no matter where I stand.

Ugh!

Ugh, ugh, ugh. That's about ALL I can say. Life too chaotic and overwhelming - wishing I had more family close by. Not necessarily wanting, but needing a temporary home for Te so I don't feel like I am neglecting him. Although - Thank God for Te as usual since he is so grounding.

Today we went to Kevin & Amber's for brunch. It was such a great get together with friends we hadn't see in awhile. We were driving into town and I "shared" a song and Te's response with Jeff in the car. Jack Johnson on the Curious George CD has a song called "Share." Te honestly dislikes the song very adamantly. I always try to play it and he always insists I turn it off. Anyways - today I played it so Jeff could bear witness to Te's distaste. It was too funny. I think we need to record it and send it in to "America's Funniest Home Videos. " Honestly. When the words started flowing and we heard "share" Te emphatically said, "no." Then Jack goes on to say "when you have three, share one with your friend and me." Te, "NO guy I don't want to share." I can't count how many "nos" we heard but eventually he plugged his ears. It's pretty hilarious.

On with life - we're in the midst of moving shop and it is a BIG PAIN IN THE ASS! We all knew it would be a pain in the ass - thirteen years of NEVER GETTING ORGANIZED. Ugh. Fucking ugh to be frank. We got some envelopes and paper temporarily moved to the new space which will need to be sorted and thoroughly categorized and moved on to garage. Wednesday they come to move the press, cutter, folder, etc. It would be better if they just moved the shit on Friday but we'll have to suffer through the distress.

It's probably a good thing I went to Rhode Island - I might be more sour. I knew this was coming, I knew it would be overwhelming, I knew it would suck...but I also thought I would have until the end of July.

Life is good - really - just having a moment.

To Be an Entreprenuer

It's funny - when I was in high school (prior to grandma dying) I remember quite vividly my aspirations. I knew one day I wanted to own my own business. I also knew that I did not want to get married before I was 28. I also think that I didn't want to be in any long-term relationship before I was 28, but we all know that didn't happen...back to the business owner business. It seems after my grandma died a lot of my aspirations kind of slipped away - albeit momentarily - or farther down the timeline. Now I am confronted with this wonderful opportunity of owning and operating a successful business.

In 2004, together with Jeff and his two cousins Karen & Mary we began ZuCru Creations. It is slowly and gradually collecting a following. We started it while I was in the midst of completing my MBA and becoming a first time mommy. Nothing in my life is ever truly planned or calculated - often times I wing it. And that's what works for me - order in complete chaos.

Now, Tom, my father-in-law is retiring at the end of this month. We will be expiring TomKat Printing which has seen its fair share of ups and downs and open a new door as Mantis Print & Design Studio. Together Tom & TomKat Printing will close the latest chapter together, while me & Jeff will begin a new chapter with Mantis Print & Design Studio. We will continue to service our client base inherited from TomKat Printing, reduce our footprint, customize our customer service and really develop an organization that reflects and inhabits both mine & Jeff's creative nature.

I am grateful for Tom and TomKat Printing - for what it has afforded us. I see the vivid potential of the future of what we are creating together. Jeff will tell you though - Mantis is Melissa...it is my desire. An exciting new feature we'll bring to Mantis is handmade Japanese paper. We'll be the only retailer in Idaho and within probably a 350/400 mile radius of surrounding states. I am creating my niche. In the next two weeks I'll get tutored on the two-color 1650 Multigraphic by Jon. I am excited to actually own and operate a press.

Before at TomKat - although it was family owned and operated - I still did not feel I personally had ownership. There were so many things I wanted to implement and change that I would suggest - which often fell on deaf ears. Now it's me implementing and making change. It's all me with the support of Jeff and Tom and my family and friends. It's going to be a great ride.

And a warning - everybody "hang on" cause as usual I'm doing it in the fashion I do best - I am winging it - and there is order, more order then I have ever had in my life.

PS. I apologize for the jumping around - it seems my thoughts aren't completely fluid today. Peace.

Life Too Short

Today I learned of the sad news that Jenny Jacobson Meyer passed away yesterday. I will miss her inspiring words as will many, and pray for strength, comfort, and peace for her husband Jeff and her young daughter Grace and all of her family and friends. A truly remarkable person who lived with such humility. To read the words of Jenny go to http://mangymooseacres.blogspot.com.

Hold those you love close and dear - and remember to truly embrace life.

One Year

Today, Wednesday, about this time I was sitting in the Boise Airport anxiously awaiting our departure to South Africa. I remember the month leading up to my two week absence - it was crazy - much like this month has been in 2008.

In fact I think May for the past three years has been crazy.

In 2006 the first week of May was spent at St. Luke's pediatrics when Te had his first serious asthma attack. The second week of May 2006 my dad died. The third week of May 2006 we were at my dad's funeral. The fourth week of May 2006 I was at WestVet ER with my dying dog Max.

In 2007 I was just crazy busy with photo shoots and TomKat work. It never fails. I was so busy I had to write out my monthly bills on the first leg to San Francisco and find a mail drop in the SF Airport.

However, once we landed in South Africa on Friday June 1 all the craziness and worries of the world dissipitated. I came back a little different person - although - I may not readily admit it. It impacted me far greater then going to the Philippines and learning about my heritage. I can't explain it. I don't think anyone can truly know until they go home to where we originated from. It was a wonderful journey and I anticipate a few more jaunts to the southern hemisphere - but for now I am on a roller coaster ride right here in my own backyard.

It is fast becoming public knowledge that Tom my father-in-law is retiring. Together with Jeff we are going to continue the business with a clean slate as Mantis Print & Design Studio. Tom is retiring at the end of June and beginning July 1 we'll be setting sail. With Mantis taking flight we also have a few art shows lined up for ZuCru in July & Sept. Our little guy Te will begin preschool at Boise Cooperative in September so our summer I am sure will be whirlwind!

Sing-song Te

Earlier today Jeff calls me at Market to tell me that him and Te won't be coming down for the day since Te was not listening and did not want to get into the shower. Jeff sent Te to his room as consequence for not listening. Jeff called again about noonish and I was with customers and had to tell him I'd call him right back. When I called back Jeff had a sweet story to share. Jeff was out in the studio trimming pots while Te was inside playing in his room. Jeff had the monitor on therefore he could hear Te's world. Jeff had called to tell me and let me listen in on Te's world. He had heard Te singing a song that went something like this "I wanted to go to Market today, but I wouldn't take a shower. Rock down!"

And you see - whenever Te sings a song it is the "Rock down" song. "Rock down" are the only words he normally sings while banging his head of hair and kicking his feet - it was funny to hear the lyrics he had made up. Just goes to show the boy is growing up.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend ya'll! Remember to honor those who have so valiantly fought for our freedoms - cheers.

May 14, 2008 - Hull's Gulch

It took me a few days to get this loaded. Note I do not edit any of the pics on our hiking trips. There are 5 images that Kobe (the oldest) took it starts with a view of my backside.

Again a wonderful day for a hike completed with yummy soft-serve ice cream from Fancy Freeze. The boys were pooped at the end after playing on the red sand up and down for more than a half hour. At the end - Te in fact climbed all the way to the top but couldn't get over the mantle off to the far far left.

You can click on one of the music links at right and let it play while you watch the slideshow.

Cheers!

God made children so that we can remember how truly real and wonderful life is.

Weeping strip of Road

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my dad's passing. Not a day goes by without some thought or acknowledgment of my daddy-o. Funny as it seems I was just announcing to Jeff yesterday about how there is this strip of Ustick Rd. between Curtis & Mtn. View that I always have some sort of weeping session. It happens quite regularly and I just realized on Saturday on my way to Market how often I actually do cry a river of tears. Of course it is normally a blue-bird day my heart is exceptionally full of peace and gratitude - the mountains are always staring back.

This morning I rode my bike 11 miles to work since we had left Holy Hannah in town over the weekend. The first ten minutes are always the hardest for me to get into the zone and establish my rhythm. By the time I hit the "weeping strip" of road I was feeling great and grateful to be riding and enjoying the beautiful morning. Just as I crossed over Ustick Rd. onto Mtn. View lo-and-behold my Ipod shuffle began to play Uncle Krackers remake Drift Away. It's a song that reminds me of my dad and it happened to start up on the "weeping strip." Today I didn't cry a river of tears, just a few, and most importantly I laughed. I laughed & chuckled out loud and thanked dad for making his presence known.

Look & listen to the signs, they're there, they're everywhere.

Miss you daddy.

* Also to note. My 6th nephew, Michael Ronald Guayan, was born yesterday on Mother's Day to my sweet baby sister, Melinda and her husband Ron, at 6:01am. Michael was originally due today, May 12.

Excuse me, Excuse me, can I pet your dog?

Yesterday Jeff & Te came to Market. Te & I strolled the three blocks in pursuit of nothing in particular and all along the way we had to stop as Te would inquire to every dog owner we passed, "Excuse me. Excuse me! Can I pet your dog?" We probably petted 5 dogs before I told Te we could not possibly pet every dog we would encounter. We did however pet at least ten different dogs all different breeds. The first one we met was a St. Bernard about 4 months old, his feet bigger then Te's. We met a hot dog as Te called it and a cowboy dog, Jasper. Jasper is a black lab but was wearing a bandana, therefore, he was labeled a cowboy dog. This morning Jeff told me a story about their walk on the way to Market and Te asked a woman in passing, "Excuse me, can I pet your dog?" It was nice everyone was so obliging - I guess it helps when you use your manners :)

The kid is a hoot. Everyone is approachable and he always, always has something endearing or inquisitive to say. Gotta love his good-nature.

Something to remember

This was sent to me by a great friend, I thought it was worth posting.

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way…
Remember that a lot…goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people…together.
Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget…for even a day…
How very special you are.

A May Day with Friends

Not as interactive without the music but still worth perusing. I just embedded this directly from my uploaded album on my google account.

Perfect day for hiking, just when you started to get warm a nice breeze would come and cool you down.

May you all be blessed.

You Live, You Learn, You Laugh, You Learn...

Yesterday was a very pleasant and lovely day and along with that it had its challenging moments. You see Te & I spent all our day together and that is completely and totally wonderful; however, by the end of the day with the continuous chatter of "why's and why-nots" momma started to get to the end of her lead. So be it, it's called being human. God knows I love that kid and there are those moments in my life where I question myself and my behavior. For the most part the day was blissful until we were trying to plant seeds and Te didn't have the patience for me to spread the dirt and I didn't have the patience for him to just be randomly placing seeds. Anyways - he eventually slowed down enough to listen and all was good. He is very excited to watch our seeds turn into "vegetables." What makes me feel grumpy about my behavior was last night when it was time for bed. Lately with all that is manifesting in my life at this moment I NEED Te to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I can work. Te wants to be where I am - so it is a constant struggle. I kind of turned nasty and when he is asleep and looking so angelic I want to kick myself in the "a@!" for being a smuck!

I went to my friend's blog today, and she had posted this quote. I thought I would spread the word because it was so what I needed today, or actually more like yesterday.

If I had my child to raise all over again,I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Oh I knew it...

Tonight I went to a NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners) get together and networked a bit...then went out and had a round table with the Tone crew and I knew that Jeff would be at his wits ends when I got home. So now I am home and Jeff is more then pissy. My dialogue on the way home was "let him be pissed off, don't buy into the emotion cause really you pressed his limits by exceeding your projected time by two hours." So - I came home he moaned at me I just let it go...he's in the studio and perhaps he'll forgive by the morning who knows.

I came to the realization that it is really about living in the moment. You can talk about it and try to live it, but really it's a hard thing to do. When you have expectations or fail to live in the moment what happens is you get disappointed or frustrated with a projected outcome. I told Jeff, "hey, I'll try to be home by 8ish." I should of never made the statement because what happened is Jeff expected me to be home by 8 and I failed to fulfill his expectation. Thus, I came home 2.5 hours later and he was pissed off cause he was expecting me at a certain time an I failed to meet his expectations.

This learning process is forever evolving. Had this been two years prior I would of maybe taken of the bait and bought into Jeff's emotions of anger of frustration...instead tonight...I knew I crossed the boundary and I was the one who had established the boundary. Had I said I didn't know when I was coming home perhaps the outcome would of been different, Jeff wouldn't of tried planning his night around my expected arrival.

This is a clean lesson of observation and understanding that you have to eliminate limitations.

Am I really so mistaken

As I sit here building a website Reham emails me a song to listen to which then starts the whole Itunes shuffle. Quietly, diligently working...then I hear African voices, rhythm and harmony, their fun little inflections and I go back thousands of miles and I feel my soul awaken. It is a surreal experience because no matter how hard I try to put Africa in the back of my mind, it is laying right on the surface waiting for me to wade the waters of serendipity. I know that most may not believe in reincarnation. Let me argue when you feel or have an experience like I do when I get so entangled and thoroughly connected to my core I know it crosses boundaries far beyond this lifetime - it reminds me of how we all are so intertwined - how what I do affects my brothers and sisters elsewhere on this planet and into the boundless abyss of the Universe. It makes me grateful that I expanded my soul on a level that cannot be defined, it makes me grateful to know all kinds (humans, animals, trees, plants, etc).

As I continue to listen to more tunes, the wedding CD occasionally gets in on the shuffle and it makes me remember Jeff and how much I do love him. God forgive me, but I go in waves. It is a challenge no doubt to love someone as best you can unconditionally who is not your child - to love your partner. To be frank it's a chore when you got a couple bull-headed individuals trying to love each other. Some days I would just rather walk the other way and never look back - then there are the moments where you are so grateful for the love and the experience of companionship.

I can't explain my waviness in life - other then the fact that often I just live in the moment and sometimes the moment captures me and it's nice to just let the rhythm of the world unfold. There is synchronicity, there is order...sometimes we don't like what we see...but it's exactly as it should be.

Tetur 4-21-2008

Grounded

I started wearing my mother of pearl ring I picked up at Art in the Park a couple years ago - when I first wore it when I purchased it my energy didn't match the energy of the jewel. Now, it is grounding me just as it should. The mother of pearl is protective, brings good luck and good fortune, mental clarity and focus - just to name a few of it's so-called traits. For me it's the mental clarity and focus which is imperative. At this juncture in my life there is much going on beyond the usual going-ons of my life. To say the least - my life at this present moment will be drastically different in the next couple months, and for many they may not see a difference but a big change is processing. It is a blessing and the Universe has a wonderful knack of making me do it now, not later. Stay tuned...

As without, so within

On the tangent of Oprah. Prior to Sunday it had been almost three weeks since I read the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I hadn't really been into reading it, and on our drive home on Sunday I decided to again start perusing it.

For many, I guess, who are still working out their spiritual path and do not realize how inter-connected we are to the Cosmos and God, the book is probably above their head. I do believe it is more of a self-growth book and speaks to people on the spiritual level and if one is truly evolved in their faith they can connect to the teachings or thoughts that are being illustrated. I am not bashing anyone, because each of us is where we are suppose to be at this exact moment, which makes this whole "life" experience so awesome.

Tonight pages 217-221 really resonated with me. The subhead is "As without, so within." Earlier today I was explaining to Jeff prior to reading these pages about how I cannot understand that people do not see that we as individuals are actually microcosms of the macrocosms...meaning the Universe, God, etc. For me it makes clear sense. Like the cells of our bodies, we as individuals are each cells in the body know as God, the Universe, whatever label you have - use it - you know what I mean.

So with that said I will quote what I truly enjoyed reading, and no paraphrasing cause I am really no good at it. This is from pages 219-220.

The twofold reality of the universe, which consists of things and space -thingness and no-thingness- is also your own. A sane, balanced, and fruitful human life is a dance between the two dimensions that make up reality: form and space. Most people are so identified with the dimension of form, with sense perception, thoughts, and emotion, that the vital hidden half is missing from their lives. Their identification of form keeps them trapped in ego.
What you see, hear, feel, touch or think about is only half of the reality, so to speak. It is form. In the teachings of Jesus, it is simply called, "the world," and the other dimension is "the kingdom of heaven" or "eternal life."
Just as space enables all things to exist and just as without silence there could be no sound, you would not exist without the vital formless dimension that is the essence of who you are. We could say "God" if the word had not been so misued. I prefer to call it Being. Being is prior to existence. Existence is form, content, "what happens." Existence is the foreground of life; Being is the background, as it were.
(This is my favorite) The collective disease of humanity is that people are so engrossed in what happens, so hypnotized by the world of fluctuating forms, so absorbed in the content of their lives, they have forgotten the essence, that which is beyond content, beyond form, beyond thought. They are so consumed by time that they have forgotten eternity, which is their origin, their home, their destiny. Eternity is the living reality of who we are.

Hmm

I received an email today and I am posting the email and my response minus name.

Friend wrote:
So, I was shocked to see this link. I thought it worth passing on for others to at least view, ponder and research. That is what I am going to do for I know I have loved Opera and she does GREAT things and has given me great inspirations but it made me think about a wolf in disguise.....the last days how we are to be so easily persuade.....makes you realize you better have a foundation of beliefs so you can always check things back to it because some things will sound great but will not be based on what you know is your belief. Anyway, thought I would pass it along, watch the video and then do what your heart tells you.....I know I am going to spend some time with this, for the words from Oprah does not line up with my core beliefs and I found msyelf at the end of the video just saying out loud, Wow!.......I would love any of your input to me as well if you have time. I know it is hard for we get so busy in life........take care each of you!
Note: forwarded message attached.

Some of you may have already watched this clip, but I thought it was worth forwarding.

Be informed as you watch the clip below

This may be taken down soon. It was removed from another site probably with a threat of a lawsuit from Oprah for copyright abuse.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA

My response:
OK Ms. XXXX - you want my opinion - and here's what I think. I do believe there are numerous paths to God and that there is not one way. If there was only one way then all would believe that one way. I also believe that a lot of Jesus Christ's teachings get overlooked and that often those that practice faith do not really hear what is being said or illustrated through words. If everyone in this world could have "Christ-like" consciousness then the world would be successful at what is truly "love."

It is valid to want to encourage others to believe what one believes, but the ultimate lesson is learned when a person leads by example and follows what their belief system illustrates. I was raised Catholic - and I have always had issues with organized religions because I feel they create more segregation then integration. Granted there are things that happen in history and in the present day that I do not agree with - I continue to pray for understanding and forgiveness on all levels for all things (meaning not just humans, but other living organisms as well).

Also through diverse thinking of each of us it awakens each of our own consciousness to a higher level - we ultimately each want peace, love, understanding, and union with God, Allah, etc. and we learn through experience what we like and don't like. Religion has many good assets, and on the same level many poor assets. It is finding the right connection to God for you while learning to be all accepting, all loving, all everything WITHOUT attaching yourself or your belief system to any one thing. (If that's confusing give me some time to come up with the right words to illustrate what I mean.)

It is said we are made in the likeness of God and that each of us has God inside of us...so if we deny this part of ourselves does that mean we deny God?

Just something to think about - and glad you include me.

Many hugs my friend - I hope life is treating you fabulous.

So if any of you have an opinion forward it to me I would love to hear your take.

Peace!

Goodness

How do you not divulge and embrace all the goodness in your life? How can you walk without gratitude and appreciation for all that is? How can you be in a world where others see through foggy glasses? You can - and you do. The lesson is in remembering all the qualities you love yourself for and seeing it in others. It is the lesson of remembering all the faults you see inside of yourself and forgiving. It's all about loving the fact of being. It is all about seeing and believing. It's all about not knowing and finding that light inside of yourself that you allow to lead the way. It's about love - for yourself - and all who walk this great story with you.

I love a man who can dance

Does that mean I don't love my husband? It just means if he could or would dance I would find him so much more endearing. I believe dancing is your soul's expression - no matter how you feel you make look to others...it does not matter. It is the ability to be captured by the moment - to be ever present in life and not worry about your own prejudices and that of others. It is an endearing quality where one possesses the ability to let themselves go and be captured by the ever present beauty of being. I have not been out in moons - it use to be a regular thing back in the day. To be honest I haven't literally be on the town in probably a year. It was so good to be out - to see and appreciate all that walk this plane. I get grumpy with myself for being so frumpy - I know what I can and have looked like - how when I am leaner I feel less inhibited, less vulnerable to how people perceive me. I am a confident person, I wish I was just confident enough to let the weight wash away. It's coming. I am so close to my purpose I can feel it, I can taste it, I can almost see it. I am on the cusp of my roar - the roar that's heard no matter the elixir.

Presidential Election

This morning on the drive in I was listening to NPR and there was a report about the American Presidential Race and how it is being covered in France. You forget how the leader of the US or any country for that matter - actually affects the global community. Granted ya know - but you really don't know. And like a young gentleman was quoted as saying, "The President of the United States represents the free world." How's that in a nutshell. It sounds to me like everyone is anxious to see who our new leader is - they want to change their relationships with the US partly due to Mr. Bush's unpopularity.

One gentleman was stated as saying, Barack Obama, if he were President, it would show that the US is in fact open-minded, and is in fact a multi-cultural country. Even Hillary would be a nice representation in their minds because she is a woman. We'll see if the US continues its course of changing parties and changing our world as we know it where communities merge into one and the blinders have been open.

I would like to see everyone embrace the salad mix we call America.

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Eggs

For Fun

Another great find in the CD picture perusal :)

Sixteen Candles

I was looking through my CDs to find a booth shot for an artist application and came across my dad's old 50s music. I decided to drop it into the CD player. It started playing "Sixteen Candles" and as I was perusing through photos - lo' and behold I came across a picture of my dad and baby Te. So here it is...now it's got me anxious to see if I can find any more shots of my daddy-o and Mr. Te.

And speaking of Mr. Te to say it lightly - he's been a pain in the derriere with his typical 3-year old attitude. It's challenging to say the least and at times makes me feel like I want to scream, and kick, and hmm...that sounds like Te.

Oh the joys of parenthood.

Can I say cheese, please

I was taking photos for art show applications today and Te had to be included. Such a nut!

Music that Moves

My evening has been consumed by downloading or actually reorganizing my Itunes playlist collections. Today we sprung forward and it was a beautiful day in the valley. I am so psyched for spring. I plan on starting my bicycling commute this month and was contemplating starting this week - but the only day I will get to ride is Friday. I shouldn't sound disappointed but I sort of am. I love it when the days get longer and the sun shines, it just has this beautiful way of recharging my soul. So I reorganized my playlist that crosses the boundaries between riding and running. Tomorrow I'll test it out as I run on the treadmill - but perhaps if the days continue to be blissful I'll take a run in the foothills.

Really

The moments where I feel my spirit sing and my spirit soar I want time to stand still. I want to capture and be present in the moment in which I feel consumed by peace, consumed by love, consumed by gratitude. LIFE consumes me just like everyone else and it takes music or a moment of still observation where I come back to what sits before me and I appreciate this wonderful blessing called life.

There are moments, which I wish could change but know the validity of the lesson in hindsight. We are blindly taught selfishness although others may argue otherwise. With these selfish moments, there are lessons or quiet reflection of things that have been, or could have been or what may become. As a collective conscious, we are taught to believe and to practice graciousness and goodwill towards others yet in stark contrast there are those moments of self-consumption where we might feel guilty for not respecting others outside of ourselves, but in hindsight, those moments actually do respect those we supposedly neglected.

Awakening

I often have this measure of myself where I don't recognize or believe that I am as spiritual or as awakened to just being as maybe I really am. Along with almost a million people I too am reading Eckart Tolle's book, A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. My friend Julie had told me a few weeks back it was one of those books she wanted to read and so I picked it up - in unison with almost another million people who learned about the book through Oprah.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows I've struggled with challenges related to death - and it seems every time someone new crosses over - I become more aware. It's the stripping away of the ego that becomes so evident. My evolutionary process started at 16 when my grandma died - it resonated and controlled much of my emotions for almost ten years.

I find it humbling that so many people do not think or have ever thought that I could get angry or volatile because there really is a peaceful way about me. Little do people know that prior to a summer spent in the Northern Arizona community of Page did I actually start to transform into a more subdued being.

I would like to believe that I was at my greatest and most attuned to the Universe, God, Being during the time I took care of my neighbor Harry. It is said once you are connected to the Source or Spirit that things just happen and you know things...there was no other time in my life that it was any clearer. So clear in fact that I knew about a week before Harry was going to die that something was shifting and it wasn't Harry who fell ill, it was his brother. To make a sweet and long story short, Dorsey was Harry's 95 year old little brother, he fell ill with pneumonia, and 8 days later on Fathers Day he passed away. Harry died the next day -his job was done. Harry had always been the caretaker of his family and once he knew his job was done he let go.

I helped Harry a lot the last couple years of his life and especially in the last few months I told him I would do my best to help him stay in his home. He was a 97 almost 98 year old bachelor. He helped me to open my heart because it was so tightly closed shut from my grandma and everyone else in between. I would say Harry is the only person I have allowed myself to truly love without closing myself off in some way. Now I am learning this with Te, and desperately trying to give my husband the same credit...but this is a huge challenge for me. After Harry died I sort of closed up again - I could only imagine if I had stayed awake till the present.

I definitely resonate with a different energy - even in fact - when my cousin called the other day I was trying to put her in her mother-in-laws shoes. I was trying to get her to see no matter what how to love her just as she is, and to maybe coach her along to becoming what she could. Having an open heart and seeing yourself in everyone is a wonderful trait to encourage and to nurture. I guess my main goal in this lifetime is to have as they refer, "Christ like love." That has always been my journey.

It is a process and one is constantly evolving and I desperately want to gain back the peace and knowing now and resonate with it throughout the rest of my life.

My Pleasure

So yesterday Te had a pocketful of mints from Sonic - he found his Uncle Jon's stash while we were at the shop and Jon told him he could have them all. ugh. So he proceeded to put them in his coat pocket. We ran a delivery to Bindery Services and as we were departing the parking lot Te was digging into his pocket and asked if he could please give me a piece of his candy. I obliged, knowing it could turn into a long ordeal until I conceded. I listened to him talk to himself and tell me he needed to twist to get the wrapper off. He then handed it to me in my out-stretched hand bent and contorted to reach him in the back seat while driving. I thanked him for sharing. He said, "Your welcome momma, no problem...my pleasure."

I say no problem all the time, my pleasure he picked up somewhere who knows where. This evening we're sitting in bed reading and he wants to share his water with me. I ask, do you like to share with mom and he says "yes, my pleasure...my pleasure mom." And I asked - where did you learn "my pleasure?" And Te said, "my heart."

A nice lesson indeed.

Residual longing to go back...

Today I learned that one of our students we took to South Africa wants to go back (obviously) - and the founder is so graciously working out logistics so that perhaps once he graduates he can spend his summer, the next year or who knows how long abroad roaming the South African rural landscape - perhaps hunting for boreholes to be turned into working PlayPump water stations. I think if I had been introduced at the ripe age of 18 or 19 to such a rich and resounding cultural experience I would probably still be somewhere abroad. I say that now being more mature and resonating on a different spiritual level then I was at 18 or 19. At 18 and 19 I was consumed by partying and still working off the grief of losing my grandma at 16. My mom tried to encourage me to live and get educated in the Philippines after I had graduated - but I wasn't ready to be immersed into something so unfamiliar. I wish I would of pursued it now, but hindsight always reflects back something that could of been. I am grateful for my experiences and assume one day as I age that the opportunities will come to me and perhaps together with Jeff, my son, a friend or one of my sisters we can share in some humanitarian experience that reaches beyond our boundaries both logistically as well as spiritually.

Keen

And for those who may not know or remember, Small Village Foundation is the organization that I went to Africa with...and every time I see the DVD presentation the memories come flooding through the gates.

As Shanelle said this evening it has a way with making your heart dance, and your spirit sing or vice versa...it really makes me emotional. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about Africa. There are moments where I do not insist that I have to go next year, then there are the moments where I feel I need to go next year...

Mercy Me...I can only imagine

Seldom do we realize the gifts that God has so graciously given us - often overlooked or forgotten - because the beauty that surrounds us becomes a part of the mundane reality that seems to blend in... that is until you take a moment to drink in the present and realize that it's a constant ever-flowing abundance of love and as they say,the cup oveflowith (if that's a word).

Tonight was the 3rd annual Small Village Dinner Auction. In preparation I made handcrafted roundevals for table decorations. To say slightly, they consumed my last two evenings, thus resulting in limited interaction with Te. There are those moments when I feel guilty for slacking, but remind myself it's only temporary. My creative process usually gets more efficient through the process (obviously) and had I figured out my approach or method more consistently prior to this morning - I might of been quicker and less neglectful. However, as Jeff pointed out - had I started my project prior to the other day I would of changed my mind at least a handful of times. Which is very very true! I managed to get the table decorated, made sure the DVD presentation worked and I was running out the door (still slightly stressed) to go shopping for a shirt for the evening with plans to make it back to the venue in less then an hour. Cruising on overdrive, as I walked out the door God so graciously presented a beautiful blue heron for me to enjoy, absorb, and take my breath away. You forget until you watch one take into flight - their true beauty. I spoke to myself and said watch it for a couple minutes - just drink it in - and I did. It was such a gracious gift. Then on my long trek to the parking lot - as I broke through the pathway entrance - lo and behold I was in the midst of 30 head of deer. A few were divided from the herd to the right of me - it was amazing to have them ALL staring at me with their perked up ears. I tried to convince them to just crossover my path, but they refused. It was just the gift I needed to bring me back to the present moment and be grateful for this wonderful place we call home, for this wonderful opportunity to grow in spirit and to quite frankly, just be alive.

That said, this evening was a spectacular event contrived of wonderful people coming together as a community to support those who so desperately need help. We are fortunate to live where we do where we take for granted our homes, our cars, clean water, street lights, etc.

It was a great day of reflection.

Tonight I added the song by Mercy Me, "I can only imagine." I heard it about two weeks ago driving around in Holy Hannah the Honda. The Honda is called Holy Hannah because the day we bought her all the radio stations she would pick up were Christian Rock. Nowadays I've managed to find NPR and the River at times, but if a song is on that's catchy and not too Goddy I listen. I do not mean to bash God, I am just not a religious person - I am a spiritual person but not a religious one. I do not need a church as my medium. But, I heard this song and not only could I imagine what it would be like to bask in God's glory, but to also bask in the glory of those who have gone before us - so with that said, listen with an open heart because I think that we can only imagine the beauty that awaits us in the next dimension.

Humility has a name, it's called you and it's called me. See yourself in each other and you will see with an open heart. Listen to the song, just see.

Peace.

Whaaaa....eee.....Whiny....

Since last Friday Boo has been sick. We went to the doc for his 3-yr. old well baby check and Dr. Beauchaine informed us that the flu vaccine wasn't a great match this year. We were set to depart to Seattle for the weekend on Thursday but had to postpone our travel arrangements when he woke up Thursday with a cough and a runny nose. Most know that Te has cold-induced asthma, so when we're fighting a cold it's a pretty intense and aggressive regimen to keep the attacks at bay. We do not enjoy hospital stays and now that he's older they would probably be far more grueling.

Anyways - I think the doc jinxed us. I was originally going to go to WA by myself; however, Te would not have it. I had been prepping him for a week for airport security since the last time was a living hell. If I had continued with my old behavior I would of just left since Jeff said, "you'll be able to get more done." While at work I rationalized and I know the intensity level of Te's care - for the sake of my son, and my own sanity I made the decision to stay home. Jeff was surprised. After our very very long weekend (more me, then Jeff) - Thank God I made the right choice.

Saturday night Te started coughing a lot before the doc house down the street closed at 8pm. Because I couldn't decipher the cough from the nasal drip or the cough that sometimes develops because of his asthma I took him in. It was a fight as usual, what's new with a persistent little one who is sick and doesn't want to take off his shirt for nobody. We discovered an ear infection in the left ear. A prescription for antibiotics at 9pm at night and we're out the door. Each day we're fighting fevers and potential asthma attack outbreaks. Te gets fed up - and now we have to add one more thing to the regimen.

Tuesday he's still not eating,and the fever isn't breaking much below 100 degrees with alternating Motrin & Tylenol every 3 to 4 hours. Frustration for me is setting in because all Te will do is whine and I am suppose to decipher his words that have suddenly escaped him. I make an appointment to go see his pediatrician again and we come home with the diagnosis that Boo has the flu.

Finally today, Wednesday, he eats, he drinks, he plays and has just a little whine with his cheese. The fever finally broke last night so now we can eliminate fever medicine. He is sometimes obliging with breathing treatments, sometimes not...but at least today I feel on the uphill swing - especially since I can go five hours between breathing treatments instead of 3-4. And the best thing of all - his lungs sound great. Maybe this weekend I will get to sleep through the night and actually feel like I can do something during the day -like vacuum the house. I usually submiss when Boo gets sick to snuggling on the couch, but the whining, it almost drives me batty!

And the pic - it was from November/December when he got his shaggalicious haircut the first time. It is a little blurry but there are images of me that I remember when I was about his age - and he does truly look like me. It depends on the day.

Spring has Sprung?

These bluebird days have me looking forward to Spring. With each changing season, let alone each day, the little Mister too evolves into something new and wonderful. The things he says the way he acts it is a continuous joy to watch him learn and grow. Everyday I am grateful for my most treasured gift.

Barack Obama, Saturday, Feb. 2, 2008 - Boise, ID

Click on picture to see a larger version. This was forwarded to me from my friend, Manny.

Go Barack!

OK, So I can't stop talking

For the past week and half I've been purging in my life. Trying to seed out the things I know I don't need. Then, there are the things that have either some symbolic or emotional meaning and I desperately think I need to move beyond the attachment but I don't know how. I am trying to reach a simplistic rule of measure in our house - I am afraid of what it may become in thirty years - I wish I was more like my mother who seems to have this ability to detach herself from everything she has no means or purpose for. I don't know how she does it. Maybe because my whole life I've always created some meaning behind everything I've ever had whether significant or not. Now - almost two years later I am finally relinquishing all the unneccessary givings and inherited gifts of my father. There is so much luggage that I have absolutely no use for - yet - it signifies my dad and I can think of a thousands reasons why I should let it continue to hang around. If it were my dad - he'd tell me to get rid of the shit. I should practice perspective, and I am trying, but it's like if I purge I forget - although I know I don't - I do. How do I resolve this conflict? It's a catch-22. Not really. Although it seems like it. I just do not want to be thirty-years deep into my own stuff along with that of my father's and those yet to come. Perspective - it's a good thing. It's change - and change is opportunity in disguise.

What do I Say?

To me, as many, I am sure life seems to roll in waves. I often use the river as an analogy for comparing how you should roll with the challenges and joys that life gives you. I have many moments that I sit and contemplate, get frustrated, and wonder "what the hell?" With a simple snap of my fingers I respond with an optimistic attitude of "wowness" when I often reflect on the moment. I have so many things in life that I am grateful for and wonder how those moments of pessimism can be so overwhelming. Yet, it is all called being human. The human experience has to be the most rewarding and challenging opportunity of spirit. Once we can separate ourselves from having any kind of attachment then we have ultimately reached what bodhisattva's are here to teach. Ego is all tied up with keeping up with the Jones' and realistically just having those things that money can buy. The beauty of being is just being but it normally takes one a whole lifetime to understand and yet to achieve the understanding to pass on as one moves on can take a lifetime. And if you are one who has managed to realize the beauty of what presents itself now and can resonate that energy - you still have your moments when you question the moment -it is hard to eliminate that stinking ego!

Let it Snow!

I have been in the Boise Valley for almost 16 years (wow!) and have never seen this much snow, ever. The other night driving home I couldn't stop grinning. I love snow, although I bet if I was in Sandpoint I'd be bitching like the rest of them. They have an amazing amount of white stuff and it just keeps stacking up.
Yesterday was a great day - Te and I got to drive the big truck around to do errands then we came home to work on our snow/fort slide combo. It was so refreshing to remember the happy emotions of my childhood when I would spends hours outside building, rolling, and playing in the snow. It is wonderful when one can connect with nature and connect with their own childlike qualities that make you realize that life is good - all the stress and headache of everyday life really is nill - it is so material. And we all know materials can be stripped off! So, when it snows, the sun shines, the birds chirp, etc. remember to let your child self resonate so you can really tap into the moment. It is all about the moment, of being present, not about what happened or what is going to happen. Find peace where you are now.

Te's photo debut

Boo got a new Vtech kidizoom digital camera. I didn't edit any pics and the ones with him in them are photo ops he requested. Obviously some images of myself I do not find too visually appealing but so be it. He can only get better with time - so the beginning of hopefully a productive photography hobby at the least. Also note that the right side of the image gets slightly cut off cause I do not want to redo my layout for the blog. Some pics are from the Zoo and the animals might be hard to be deciper so, so you know what you see: snow leopard, prairie dog, python snake, red panda - perhaps not all in that order. Cheers.

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