Classic Calvin

Sweet shot eh?

Te in Studio

June 1 was Te's first official turn in the potter's studio. Jeff thinks I need to practice turning more since I always have these brilliant ideas I want him to manifest - but he would prefer to manifest his own ideas. As I practiced turning a couple bowls Jeff officially introduced Te to clay. Yeah - Te already knows clay - he goes into the studio whenever he can to kipe slip chips (as I call them) from the recycle clay can so he can crumble 'em. And yes - Te plays with Play-Doh - playing with clay however is taking it to the next level. Te & Jeff rolled out slabs and cookie cut their little hearts out for well over two hours. Te would ball up all his clay leftover from cutting out shapes - run over to the slab roller - place his clay between the canvas sheets - and say "my turn." It's kind of fun to work the slab roller when you're 3. It's like driving a big steering wheel. Eventually Te started taking his completed pieces and throwing them on the bat on another table. He was becoming quite proficient in the studio. We'll use the little cookie cutter dinos, animals, and cars for glaze testing - put them on a string and hang them in Te's room. It was a rather fun Sunday evening. And I still have an idea I need to create which I was just reminded of as I post. Hmm. I started it that evening - then crushed it to start new. The facial expressions of Jeff & Te are pretty classic in the quick photo op I did. Enjoy. Life is good no matter where I stand.

Ugh!

Ugh, ugh, ugh. That's about ALL I can say. Life too chaotic and overwhelming - wishing I had more family close by. Not necessarily wanting, but needing a temporary home for Te so I don't feel like I am neglecting him. Although - Thank God for Te as usual since he is so grounding.

Today we went to Kevin & Amber's for brunch. It was such a great get together with friends we hadn't see in awhile. We were driving into town and I "shared" a song and Te's response with Jeff in the car. Jack Johnson on the Curious George CD has a song called "Share." Te honestly dislikes the song very adamantly. I always try to play it and he always insists I turn it off. Anyways - today I played it so Jeff could bear witness to Te's distaste. It was too funny. I think we need to record it and send it in to "America's Funniest Home Videos. " Honestly. When the words started flowing and we heard "share" Te emphatically said, "no." Then Jack goes on to say "when you have three, share one with your friend and me." Te, "NO guy I don't want to share." I can't count how many "nos" we heard but eventually he plugged his ears. It's pretty hilarious.

On with life - we're in the midst of moving shop and it is a BIG PAIN IN THE ASS! We all knew it would be a pain in the ass - thirteen years of NEVER GETTING ORGANIZED. Ugh. Fucking ugh to be frank. We got some envelopes and paper temporarily moved to the new space which will need to be sorted and thoroughly categorized and moved on to garage. Wednesday they come to move the press, cutter, folder, etc. It would be better if they just moved the shit on Friday but we'll have to suffer through the distress.

It's probably a good thing I went to Rhode Island - I might be more sour. I knew this was coming, I knew it would be overwhelming, I knew it would suck...but I also thought I would have until the end of July.

Life is good - really - just having a moment.

To Be an Entreprenuer

It's funny - when I was in high school (prior to grandma dying) I remember quite vividly my aspirations. I knew one day I wanted to own my own business. I also knew that I did not want to get married before I was 28. I also think that I didn't want to be in any long-term relationship before I was 28, but we all know that didn't happen...back to the business owner business. It seems after my grandma died a lot of my aspirations kind of slipped away - albeit momentarily - or farther down the timeline. Now I am confronted with this wonderful opportunity of owning and operating a successful business.

In 2004, together with Jeff and his two cousins Karen & Mary we began ZuCru Creations. It is slowly and gradually collecting a following. We started it while I was in the midst of completing my MBA and becoming a first time mommy. Nothing in my life is ever truly planned or calculated - often times I wing it. And that's what works for me - order in complete chaos.

Now, Tom, my father-in-law is retiring at the end of this month. We will be expiring TomKat Printing which has seen its fair share of ups and downs and open a new door as Mantis Print & Design Studio. Together Tom & TomKat Printing will close the latest chapter together, while me & Jeff will begin a new chapter with Mantis Print & Design Studio. We will continue to service our client base inherited from TomKat Printing, reduce our footprint, customize our customer service and really develop an organization that reflects and inhabits both mine & Jeff's creative nature.

I am grateful for Tom and TomKat Printing - for what it has afforded us. I see the vivid potential of the future of what we are creating together. Jeff will tell you though - Mantis is Melissa...it is my desire. An exciting new feature we'll bring to Mantis is handmade Japanese paper. We'll be the only retailer in Idaho and within probably a 350/400 mile radius of surrounding states. I am creating my niche. In the next two weeks I'll get tutored on the two-color 1650 Multigraphic by Jon. I am excited to actually own and operate a press.

Before at TomKat - although it was family owned and operated - I still did not feel I personally had ownership. There were so many things I wanted to implement and change that I would suggest - which often fell on deaf ears. Now it's me implementing and making change. It's all me with the support of Jeff and Tom and my family and friends. It's going to be a great ride.

And a warning - everybody "hang on" cause as usual I'm doing it in the fashion I do best - I am winging it - and there is order, more order then I have ever had in my life.

PS. I apologize for the jumping around - it seems my thoughts aren't completely fluid today. Peace.

Life Too Short

Today I learned of the sad news that Jenny Jacobson Meyer passed away yesterday. I will miss her inspiring words as will many, and pray for strength, comfort, and peace for her husband Jeff and her young daughter Grace and all of her family and friends. A truly remarkable person who lived with such humility. To read the words of Jenny go to http://mangymooseacres.blogspot.com.

Hold those you love close and dear - and remember to truly embrace life.

One Year

Today, Wednesday, about this time I was sitting in the Boise Airport anxiously awaiting our departure to South Africa. I remember the month leading up to my two week absence - it was crazy - much like this month has been in 2008.

In fact I think May for the past three years has been crazy.

In 2006 the first week of May was spent at St. Luke's pediatrics when Te had his first serious asthma attack. The second week of May 2006 my dad died. The third week of May 2006 we were at my dad's funeral. The fourth week of May 2006 I was at WestVet ER with my dying dog Max.

In 2007 I was just crazy busy with photo shoots and TomKat work. It never fails. I was so busy I had to write out my monthly bills on the first leg to San Francisco and find a mail drop in the SF Airport.

However, once we landed in South Africa on Friday June 1 all the craziness and worries of the world dissipitated. I came back a little different person - although - I may not readily admit it. It impacted me far greater then going to the Philippines and learning about my heritage. I can't explain it. I don't think anyone can truly know until they go home to where we originated from. It was a wonderful journey and I anticipate a few more jaunts to the southern hemisphere - but for now I am on a roller coaster ride right here in my own backyard.

It is fast becoming public knowledge that Tom my father-in-law is retiring. Together with Jeff we are going to continue the business with a clean slate as Mantis Print & Design Studio. Tom is retiring at the end of June and beginning July 1 we'll be setting sail. With Mantis taking flight we also have a few art shows lined up for ZuCru in July & Sept. Our little guy Te will begin preschool at Boise Cooperative in September so our summer I am sure will be whirlwind!

Sing-song Te

Earlier today Jeff calls me at Market to tell me that him and Te won't be coming down for the day since Te was not listening and did not want to get into the shower. Jeff sent Te to his room as consequence for not listening. Jeff called again about noonish and I was with customers and had to tell him I'd call him right back. When I called back Jeff had a sweet story to share. Jeff was out in the studio trimming pots while Te was inside playing in his room. Jeff had the monitor on therefore he could hear Te's world. Jeff had called to tell me and let me listen in on Te's world. He had heard Te singing a song that went something like this "I wanted to go to Market today, but I wouldn't take a shower. Rock down!"

And you see - whenever Te sings a song it is the "Rock down" song. "Rock down" are the only words he normally sings while banging his head of hair and kicking his feet - it was funny to hear the lyrics he had made up. Just goes to show the boy is growing up.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend ya'll! Remember to honor those who have so valiantly fought for our freedoms - cheers.

May 14, 2008 - Hull's Gulch

It took me a few days to get this loaded. Note I do not edit any of the pics on our hiking trips. There are 5 images that Kobe (the oldest) took it starts with a view of my backside.

Again a wonderful day for a hike completed with yummy soft-serve ice cream from Fancy Freeze. The boys were pooped at the end after playing on the red sand up and down for more than a half hour. At the end - Te in fact climbed all the way to the top but couldn't get over the mantle off to the far far left.

You can click on one of the music links at right and let it play while you watch the slideshow.

Cheers!

God made children so that we can remember how truly real and wonderful life is.

Weeping strip of Road

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my dad's passing. Not a day goes by without some thought or acknowledgment of my daddy-o. Funny as it seems I was just announcing to Jeff yesterday about how there is this strip of Ustick Rd. between Curtis & Mtn. View that I always have some sort of weeping session. It happens quite regularly and I just realized on Saturday on my way to Market how often I actually do cry a river of tears. Of course it is normally a blue-bird day my heart is exceptionally full of peace and gratitude - the mountains are always staring back.

This morning I rode my bike 11 miles to work since we had left Holy Hannah in town over the weekend. The first ten minutes are always the hardest for me to get into the zone and establish my rhythm. By the time I hit the "weeping strip" of road I was feeling great and grateful to be riding and enjoying the beautiful morning. Just as I crossed over Ustick Rd. onto Mtn. View lo-and-behold my Ipod shuffle began to play Uncle Krackers remake Drift Away. It's a song that reminds me of my dad and it happened to start up on the "weeping strip." Today I didn't cry a river of tears, just a few, and most importantly I laughed. I laughed & chuckled out loud and thanked dad for making his presence known.

Look & listen to the signs, they're there, they're everywhere.

Miss you daddy.

* Also to note. My 6th nephew, Michael Ronald Guayan, was born yesterday on Mother's Day to my sweet baby sister, Melinda and her husband Ron, at 6:01am. Michael was originally due today, May 12.

Excuse me, Excuse me, can I pet your dog?

Yesterday Jeff & Te came to Market. Te & I strolled the three blocks in pursuit of nothing in particular and all along the way we had to stop as Te would inquire to every dog owner we passed, "Excuse me. Excuse me! Can I pet your dog?" We probably petted 5 dogs before I told Te we could not possibly pet every dog we would encounter. We did however pet at least ten different dogs all different breeds. The first one we met was a St. Bernard about 4 months old, his feet bigger then Te's. We met a hot dog as Te called it and a cowboy dog, Jasper. Jasper is a black lab but was wearing a bandana, therefore, he was labeled a cowboy dog. This morning Jeff told me a story about their walk on the way to Market and Te asked a woman in passing, "Excuse me, can I pet your dog?" It was nice everyone was so obliging - I guess it helps when you use your manners :)

The kid is a hoot. Everyone is approachable and he always, always has something endearing or inquisitive to say. Gotta love his good-nature.

Something to remember

This was sent to me by a great friend, I thought it was worth posting.

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way…
Remember that a lot…goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people…together.
Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget…for even a day…
How very special you are.

A May Day with Friends

Not as interactive without the music but still worth perusing. I just embedded this directly from my uploaded album on my google account.

Perfect day for hiking, just when you started to get warm a nice breeze would come and cool you down.

May you all be blessed.

You Live, You Learn, You Laugh, You Learn...

Yesterday was a very pleasant and lovely day and along with that it had its challenging moments. You see Te & I spent all our day together and that is completely and totally wonderful; however, by the end of the day with the continuous chatter of "why's and why-nots" momma started to get to the end of her lead. So be it, it's called being human. God knows I love that kid and there are those moments in my life where I question myself and my behavior. For the most part the day was blissful until we were trying to plant seeds and Te didn't have the patience for me to spread the dirt and I didn't have the patience for him to just be randomly placing seeds. Anyways - he eventually slowed down enough to listen and all was good. He is very excited to watch our seeds turn into "vegetables." What makes me feel grumpy about my behavior was last night when it was time for bed. Lately with all that is manifesting in my life at this moment I NEED Te to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I can work. Te wants to be where I am - so it is a constant struggle. I kind of turned nasty and when he is asleep and looking so angelic I want to kick myself in the "a@!" for being a smuck!

I went to my friend's blog today, and she had posted this quote. I thought I would spread the word because it was so what I needed today, or actually more like yesterday.

If I had my child to raise all over again,I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Oh I knew it...

Tonight I went to a NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners) get together and networked a bit...then went out and had a round table with the Tone crew and I knew that Jeff would be at his wits ends when I got home. So now I am home and Jeff is more then pissy. My dialogue on the way home was "let him be pissed off, don't buy into the emotion cause really you pressed his limits by exceeding your projected time by two hours." So - I came home he moaned at me I just let it go...he's in the studio and perhaps he'll forgive by the morning who knows.

I came to the realization that it is really about living in the moment. You can talk about it and try to live it, but really it's a hard thing to do. When you have expectations or fail to live in the moment what happens is you get disappointed or frustrated with a projected outcome. I told Jeff, "hey, I'll try to be home by 8ish." I should of never made the statement because what happened is Jeff expected me to be home by 8 and I failed to fulfill his expectation. Thus, I came home 2.5 hours later and he was pissed off cause he was expecting me at a certain time an I failed to meet his expectations.

This learning process is forever evolving. Had this been two years prior I would of maybe taken of the bait and bought into Jeff's emotions of anger of frustration...instead tonight...I knew I crossed the boundary and I was the one who had established the boundary. Had I said I didn't know when I was coming home perhaps the outcome would of been different, Jeff wouldn't of tried planning his night around my expected arrival.

This is a clean lesson of observation and understanding that you have to eliminate limitations.

Am I really so mistaken

As I sit here building a website Reham emails me a song to listen to which then starts the whole Itunes shuffle. Quietly, diligently working...then I hear African voices, rhythm and harmony, their fun little inflections and I go back thousands of miles and I feel my soul awaken. It is a surreal experience because no matter how hard I try to put Africa in the back of my mind, it is laying right on the surface waiting for me to wade the waters of serendipity. I know that most may not believe in reincarnation. Let me argue when you feel or have an experience like I do when I get so entangled and thoroughly connected to my core I know it crosses boundaries far beyond this lifetime - it reminds me of how we all are so intertwined - how what I do affects my brothers and sisters elsewhere on this planet and into the boundless abyss of the Universe. It makes me grateful that I expanded my soul on a level that cannot be defined, it makes me grateful to know all kinds (humans, animals, trees, plants, etc).

As I continue to listen to more tunes, the wedding CD occasionally gets in on the shuffle and it makes me remember Jeff and how much I do love him. God forgive me, but I go in waves. It is a challenge no doubt to love someone as best you can unconditionally who is not your child - to love your partner. To be frank it's a chore when you got a couple bull-headed individuals trying to love each other. Some days I would just rather walk the other way and never look back - then there are the moments where you are so grateful for the love and the experience of companionship.

I can't explain my waviness in life - other then the fact that often I just live in the moment and sometimes the moment captures me and it's nice to just let the rhythm of the world unfold. There is synchronicity, there is order...sometimes we don't like what we see...but it's exactly as it should be.

Tetur 4-21-2008

Grounded

I started wearing my mother of pearl ring I picked up at Art in the Park a couple years ago - when I first wore it when I purchased it my energy didn't match the energy of the jewel. Now, it is grounding me just as it should. The mother of pearl is protective, brings good luck and good fortune, mental clarity and focus - just to name a few of it's so-called traits. For me it's the mental clarity and focus which is imperative. At this juncture in my life there is much going on beyond the usual going-ons of my life. To say the least - my life at this present moment will be drastically different in the next couple months, and for many they may not see a difference but a big change is processing. It is a blessing and the Universe has a wonderful knack of making me do it now, not later. Stay tuned...

As without, so within

On the tangent of Oprah. Prior to Sunday it had been almost three weeks since I read the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I hadn't really been into reading it, and on our drive home on Sunday I decided to again start perusing it.

For many, I guess, who are still working out their spiritual path and do not realize how inter-connected we are to the Cosmos and God, the book is probably above their head. I do believe it is more of a self-growth book and speaks to people on the spiritual level and if one is truly evolved in their faith they can connect to the teachings or thoughts that are being illustrated. I am not bashing anyone, because each of us is where we are suppose to be at this exact moment, which makes this whole "life" experience so awesome.

Tonight pages 217-221 really resonated with me. The subhead is "As without, so within." Earlier today I was explaining to Jeff prior to reading these pages about how I cannot understand that people do not see that we as individuals are actually microcosms of the macrocosms...meaning the Universe, God, etc. For me it makes clear sense. Like the cells of our bodies, we as individuals are each cells in the body know as God, the Universe, whatever label you have - use it - you know what I mean.

So with that said I will quote what I truly enjoyed reading, and no paraphrasing cause I am really no good at it. This is from pages 219-220.

The twofold reality of the universe, which consists of things and space -thingness and no-thingness- is also your own. A sane, balanced, and fruitful human life is a dance between the two dimensions that make up reality: form and space. Most people are so identified with the dimension of form, with sense perception, thoughts, and emotion, that the vital hidden half is missing from their lives. Their identification of form keeps them trapped in ego.
What you see, hear, feel, touch or think about is only half of the reality, so to speak. It is form. In the teachings of Jesus, it is simply called, "the world," and the other dimension is "the kingdom of heaven" or "eternal life."
Just as space enables all things to exist and just as without silence there could be no sound, you would not exist without the vital formless dimension that is the essence of who you are. We could say "God" if the word had not been so misued. I prefer to call it Being. Being is prior to existence. Existence is form, content, "what happens." Existence is the foreground of life; Being is the background, as it were.
(This is my favorite) The collective disease of humanity is that people are so engrossed in what happens, so hypnotized by the world of fluctuating forms, so absorbed in the content of their lives, they have forgotten the essence, that which is beyond content, beyond form, beyond thought. They are so consumed by time that they have forgotten eternity, which is their origin, their home, their destiny. Eternity is the living reality of who we are.

Hmm

I received an email today and I am posting the email and my response minus name.

Friend wrote:
So, I was shocked to see this link. I thought it worth passing on for others to at least view, ponder and research. That is what I am going to do for I know I have loved Opera and she does GREAT things and has given me great inspirations but it made me think about a wolf in disguise.....the last days how we are to be so easily persuade.....makes you realize you better have a foundation of beliefs so you can always check things back to it because some things will sound great but will not be based on what you know is your belief. Anyway, thought I would pass it along, watch the video and then do what your heart tells you.....I know I am going to spend some time with this, for the words from Oprah does not line up with my core beliefs and I found msyelf at the end of the video just saying out loud, Wow!.......I would love any of your input to me as well if you have time. I know it is hard for we get so busy in life........take care each of you!
Note: forwarded message attached.

Some of you may have already watched this clip, but I thought it was worth forwarding.

Be informed as you watch the clip below

This may be taken down soon. It was removed from another site probably with a threat of a lawsuit from Oprah for copyright abuse.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA

My response:
OK Ms. XXXX - you want my opinion - and here's what I think. I do believe there are numerous paths to God and that there is not one way. If there was only one way then all would believe that one way. I also believe that a lot of Jesus Christ's teachings get overlooked and that often those that practice faith do not really hear what is being said or illustrated through words. If everyone in this world could have "Christ-like" consciousness then the world would be successful at what is truly "love."

It is valid to want to encourage others to believe what one believes, but the ultimate lesson is learned when a person leads by example and follows what their belief system illustrates. I was raised Catholic - and I have always had issues with organized religions because I feel they create more segregation then integration. Granted there are things that happen in history and in the present day that I do not agree with - I continue to pray for understanding and forgiveness on all levels for all things (meaning not just humans, but other living organisms as well).

Also through diverse thinking of each of us it awakens each of our own consciousness to a higher level - we ultimately each want peace, love, understanding, and union with God, Allah, etc. and we learn through experience what we like and don't like. Religion has many good assets, and on the same level many poor assets. It is finding the right connection to God for you while learning to be all accepting, all loving, all everything WITHOUT attaching yourself or your belief system to any one thing. (If that's confusing give me some time to come up with the right words to illustrate what I mean.)

It is said we are made in the likeness of God and that each of us has God inside of us...so if we deny this part of ourselves does that mean we deny God?

Just something to think about - and glad you include me.

Many hugs my friend - I hope life is treating you fabulous.

So if any of you have an opinion forward it to me I would love to hear your take.

Peace!