Melting down

Boy! Today was an overwhelming day. I know there is only so much I can do before I leave and some things just have to wait. I think the past ten days has put me in a situation where I've been assessing all these responsibilities I have and how I need to start establishing boundaries and prioritizing what is truly truly important to me. I'm a giver - and I have a tendency to give and give and give and seldom ask to take. I don't even allow myself to take from myself. That has to change. I was in and out of the shop today desperately trying to get a job done by tomorrow and although I don't mind the job - the job is running me - limiting my commitment to my family, pleasure time with friends, and effectively packing for South Africa. I have for more then two years talked about taking one day off per week for time with Te. The time is now and I have to quit talking about it.

Last night was the first time my boy has ever said, "I love you." He says he loves things like pizza, but never I love you to Jeff or myself. So last night out of the blue Te says to me, "I love you." I tell Te back, "I love you." And Te again replies, "No, I love you." A running conversation for about five minutes. It was sweet and so what I needed to hear when the nerves and emotions are getting the best of me and causing me to meltdown to tears cause I am feeling so overwhelmed with responsibilities.

I know when I get back - shit is still going to need attending to - I'll have to take another vacation just to redeem my sanity. There may also be a little PMS in the ingredients list...