Saturday, July 29, 2006
The Gods are Talking...
I have this bad habit of drinking expensive coffee. I keep telling myself I need to quit to support my new glass passion. Yesterday I went to my regular coffee stand, Executive Coffee, and waited in line for more then ten minutes with only one car in front of me. Who knows what they ordered. I was already late for work - so I could wait no longer - and decided to hit my old coffee house on Vista, Moxie Java. I got out of the car and rambled inside to again be detoured by more then a ten minute wait. This time the two people in front of me ordered 16 coffees to go! I should of walked out after my second eternal wait -but persisted - and was rewarded with a free coffee and free breakfast burrito due to a shift change. Later in the day, about 330pm, I decided I needed yet another coffee. The Gods were seriously trying to detour me for sure - since I ran into a parked car, my brother-in-law's that is. Fortunate for me I didn't damage my truck, and his car was already beat up from a previous accident. All the same - my lack of paying attention and my coffee fixation resulted in carelessness.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Life still moving too fast
Boy - I'll be happy as pig in shit come Dec. 4. It's a monumental date since I will finally be done with school. Life is still on overdrive. Adding a few glass fusing classes to my current life schedule has limited me on just quiet time for myself. Or, at least productive quiet time where I am suppose to be doing homework and instead I feel like cruising the Internet or the T.V. to learn about home improvement projects. Jeff, Te, and I will be venturing North to Sandpoint at the end of August. Redeem some sanity. By that time let's pray our little house in town will be in the mix for being sold. Jeff tore out the bathroom a week ago - now we have to make time to remodel. For some reason we feel inclined to finish texturing all the walls in the rest of the house. I cannot explain why we chose to make more work for ourselves - I guess it's our nature. It will pay off, it is just a matter of finding the time to do everything we need to do. Right now I feel like I am missing out on some quality time with Te - it is a bit frustrating. I will have a six week hiatus from school after Sept. 11 before my final Marketing class begins. I am looking forward to the time to get back to hiking - and trying desperately to commute by bike to work three times a week. I feel like getting my old physical self back - communing with nature which I miss - and grounding my soul. In due time. I'll look back 365 days from now and go "WoW." I know when I reflect back I will see how sound my judgements have been and how looking ahead instead of behind has propelled me forward. Always enjoying the journey.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Tears are Falling
Today I was driving home with my baby in the backseat when "Drift Away" a remake by Uncle Kracker came on. It was mine and Jeff's wedding song - almost two years ago. About two years ago that my daddy was diagnosed with lung cancer. When I heard the song I was singing it - and at the same crying - crying cause I had this beautiful vision in my head of my dad sitting on the picnic bench at Marley Beach watching Jeff and I dancing - and he was singing along to the song and smiling, smiling, smiling. It was a blessed day.
My dad was in the hospital the week prior to our wedding getting over three plus liters of fluid drained off his left lung which was pushing his heart over. He told all the people caring for him at the Spokane VA that he had to be out by Friday the 13th - his kid was getting married! Before they released him they tested the fluid and that's how we discovered he had adenocarcinoma.
My dad told my best friend Mikey he had cancer before he told me. They were both a bit worried about how I would react. For some reason when my dad told me, I knew he would be alright. I did not react like I thought I would react, and because dad always had such an optimistic attitude I thought he would be around forever.
I am grateful that God gave us the opportunity to share my wedding day - I am grateful that God gave my dad the time and opportunity to meet my son Te and to be with my little sister Melinda when she had Joshua. I am grateful that he had over a years worth of time to spend with my sisters and their families - to reconnect. And I am grateful God gave me, Jeff, and Te seven more months of his time. I always knew that I would be with my dad in the end - I just didn't know it would come so quickly. I desperately wanted my children to know my father - and they will through stories and memories. I have to remember I am his legacy, and so is Te. Te knows his "pop-pop" and I often wonder if dad still communicates with him.
I see him occasionally, not in a ghostly spirit kind of sense - I see his butterfly body. At his memorial service there was a butterfly and I know it was him. Often times now when I have questions or thoughts - a butterfly appears to give me reassurance. I know it's him - it's a good way for me to be OK with knowing he's around without physically seeing him. Call me crazy - but it's true. I cry often - cause I miss him and rightly so. No sobbing that's for sure - cause I know it's not forever. It's mostly when I am driving, or writing about him that makes my heart ache - knowing I can't get a much needed embrace.
My dad was in the hospital the week prior to our wedding getting over three plus liters of fluid drained off his left lung which was pushing his heart over. He told all the people caring for him at the Spokane VA that he had to be out by Friday the 13th - his kid was getting married! Before they released him they tested the fluid and that's how we discovered he had adenocarcinoma.
My dad told my best friend Mikey he had cancer before he told me. They were both a bit worried about how I would react. For some reason when my dad told me, I knew he would be alright. I did not react like I thought I would react, and because dad always had such an optimistic attitude I thought he would be around forever.
I am grateful that God gave us the opportunity to share my wedding day - I am grateful that God gave my dad the time and opportunity to meet my son Te and to be with my little sister Melinda when she had Joshua. I am grateful that he had over a years worth of time to spend with my sisters and their families - to reconnect. And I am grateful God gave me, Jeff, and Te seven more months of his time. I always knew that I would be with my dad in the end - I just didn't know it would come so quickly. I desperately wanted my children to know my father - and they will through stories and memories. I have to remember I am his legacy, and so is Te. Te knows his "pop-pop" and I often wonder if dad still communicates with him.
I see him occasionally, not in a ghostly spirit kind of sense - I see his butterfly body. At his memorial service there was a butterfly and I know it was him. Often times now when I have questions or thoughts - a butterfly appears to give me reassurance. I know it's him - it's a good way for me to be OK with knowing he's around without physically seeing him. Call me crazy - but it's true. I cry often - cause I miss him and rightly so. No sobbing that's for sure - cause I know it's not forever. It's mostly when I am driving, or writing about him that makes my heart ache - knowing I can't get a much needed embrace.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Te-tur Tot gets a Taste of the Fountain
Boy they grow like weeds! Te is going to be 18 months on Saturday - it's hard to believe my baby is already so big, even though he is still so small. Last year at this time we could take the little mister to the Market every Saturday and he would sit in the pack-n-play or sit in the Baby Bjorn and quietly watch the stream of people passing by. Nowadays, Te and Jeff arrive at Market every Saturday around noonish. There is NO way Te would sit for five hours - he would scream and insist to let him roam, to investigate his surroundings, and to make new friends. Plus - now that he's discovered the fountain - good luck keeping him out of it! This is actually the first time I've caught him lapping up the sprinkling water - and this past weekend was the first time he actually ran through the fountain. Normally he stands on the edge running around in a circle, drinking water off the ground, and letting only his hands get wet. The little people amaze me with what they absorb. Te knows many things beyond what we think he knows. Lately I have been teaching him how to show us he is "one" and he does it, just not on command. I also taught him how to say "peace" , next thing is to show him how to sign it. His parting words will be "peace" when he leaves his friends :).
He identifies with many things - I would imagine his vocabulary knowledge is close to a 100 words - just because he seems to know a lot. He knows his body, he knows his animals beyond just cat and dog , he knows his shoes, he knows "ow" - he can pick out toys you ask him to retrieve, he knows his vitamins, to brush his teeth - and even floss, he knows bath, he knows outside, he knows ride. Which when Te wants a ride - it's usually a ride on a hand truck around the print shop or through the back yard. He just knows more then I can imagine. I am excited to one day hear his sentences flow freely, even though I really enjoy where he's at right now and would be glad to stop time. I am excited to see how he will continue to teach me and how he helps my heart to open up and love. He is a beautiful thing - and I am truly blessed.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
What I Miss
Today is one of those days where I miss my grandma, where I miss my house I grew up in, where I miss peddling down the streets of Sandpoint to go to the Lake, where I miss the Lake, where I miss everything that represents what life was like 25 years ago. Life was good growing up on the corner of Cedar and Division in Sandpoint. It was modest, simple, and just plain great. No worries.
This is about the time the raspberries would be coming on in the garden, a little bit of lettuce to make sugar lettuce rolls...playing outside all day...and sneaking away to the Lake to get a bit refreshed.
I know that Sandpoint has changed a lot in 25 years - I've experienced it - and I know how much different life is like now verse then. You just can't compare summer days on the Lake. When your parents tell you about what they use to do and reminisce about their good times - I am to the point now where I can totally relate.
The 4th of July in Sandpoint was always a celebration of fun and family. Often times everyone would come home for a mini reunion. My two sisters, myself, and my cousin Anji would always get dressed up by our Aunt Terry and entered into the Children's Parade...in fact one year we won second place. (Our theme that year was Little Red Riding Hood.) Te is 17 months - and even though I know he would enjoy some of the 4th of July - we're waiting till next year when we know he'll enjoy all of the 4th of July - from the early morning parade straight through to the early evening fireworks.
This year while I remember what the 4th of July was like when I was nine - I am suppose to be writing a paper for my Marketing class. I keep telling myself I am almost there. That's one thing I won't miss, school - and those early morning swimming lessons at 730am in Lake Pend Oreille! Brrrr Grandma!
This is about the time the raspberries would be coming on in the garden, a little bit of lettuce to make sugar lettuce rolls...playing outside all day...and sneaking away to the Lake to get a bit refreshed.
I know that Sandpoint has changed a lot in 25 years - I've experienced it - and I know how much different life is like now verse then. You just can't compare summer days on the Lake. When your parents tell you about what they use to do and reminisce about their good times - I am to the point now where I can totally relate.
The 4th of July in Sandpoint was always a celebration of fun and family. Often times everyone would come home for a mini reunion. My two sisters, myself, and my cousin Anji would always get dressed up by our Aunt Terry and entered into the Children's Parade...in fact one year we won second place. (Our theme that year was Little Red Riding Hood.) Te is 17 months - and even though I know he would enjoy some of the 4th of July - we're waiting till next year when we know he'll enjoy all of the 4th of July - from the early morning parade straight through to the early evening fireworks.
This year while I remember what the 4th of July was like when I was nine - I am suppose to be writing a paper for my Marketing class. I keep telling myself I am almost there. That's one thing I won't miss, school - and those early morning swimming lessons at 730am in Lake Pend Oreille! Brrrr Grandma!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed
I don't know what came over me yesterday - I was up and at 'em and ready to splat 'em at 7am on a Saturday morning. Actually Saturdays are always my early morning rise since that's Market day. My favorite day of the week. Jeff and I (ZuCru Creations) sell our handcrafted ware every Saturday April thru October at Boise's Capital City Public Market. This is our third season. Normally when I arrive the hustle and bustle of vendors preparing for the day's sales is well into third gear. This Saturday I was the first one in my section to actually "pop the top" on my canopy - I was a bit perplexed with where I should actually position it within the chalked guidelines since I didn't have neighbors yet - and wasn't normally squeezing myself in. I arrived at 745am. Almost 40 minutes earlier then my normal arrival time. I got an early start because beyond sharing a booth with Jeff, I am also sharing a booth with one of my childhood friends, Chrissy Kramer. Together we are selling whimsical, vibrant, and colorful paintings geared toward the child audience. So thanks to my "early bird gets the worm" attitude I actually had 30 minutes of disposable time to visit with fellow vendors, run and get coffee, and just drink in the beginnings of a beautiful day.
Yesterday was an exceptional day. There was an abundance of Market patrons even for the long holiday weekend. Most of my sales for the day were complete before noon. I love the Market cause you see old friends, make new friends, experience a great venue for people watching, and the opportunity is always knocking to sell your goods to someone other then your supportive friends and family to enjoy. What really made my day was that I actually sold two paintings. A 3-panel caterpillar that's about two years old, a bumblebee - about the same age. I have a handful of whimsical bugs and farm animals that have been in storage waiting for the perfect opportunity to be sold - before they just didn't mix with the ZuCru theme since it's Japanese influenced and includes Jeff's pottery, framed origami, and leaf prints. Now I have another creative outlet to share with Chrissy which makes me grin even bigger. I love painting -much like pottery is meditation and therapy for Jeff - that's what painting is for me. And knowing that people can appreciate my simplistic whimsical paintings makes it more fun. So along with my happy face that I gained from knowing little people were enjoying my prints - fellow vendors were shining light on me yesterday too.
Setting up yesterday, Mike, my marriage partner at the Market, was putting out his goodies that include handmade wooden spoons and cutting boards indulged me with a warpy black walnut cutting board. Later on my pursuit down the road for food I stopped to talk to Sondra who has the Scented Room, whic she handmakes lavender yummy body care goodies from body and foot scrubs to spritzers, gave me a gift of citrus basil sugar body scrub. It was her last tub and it hadn't sold that day. Her clientele hasn't picked up much on the new line and so she gave it to me since she has plenty of leftovers at home. I love her stuff. I use her lavender/peppermint salt scrub almost every day. (www.scentedroom.com) And fact be known, I scrubbed the little man (Te) with the sugar scrub tonight and of course he tried eating it. The Market day ended with Ron from Kelley Orchards of Weiser (www.kelleyorchards.com) bringing us a yummy bag full of cherries. And on top of all this goodwill among friends - I ran into Gil and Molly who make hammocks (http://www.dreamweavershammocks.com/) here locally in Boise and usually tour around the Pacific NW doing shows (even Sandpoint) - and was able to thank them for the chair hammock they so graciously tipped me with two weeks ago at our family printshop, TomKat Printing. (We print for Gil & Molly). So all in all - yesterday was a fabulous day and maybe that's God's way of telling me "Hey, get your a#$ out of bed earlier and see how rewarding it can be!" Perhaps tomorrow I'll start my 20 mile roundtrip commute with the early morning sun.
Yesterday was an exceptional day. There was an abundance of Market patrons even for the long holiday weekend. Most of my sales for the day were complete before noon. I love the Market cause you see old friends, make new friends, experience a great venue for people watching, and the opportunity is always knocking to sell your goods to someone other then your supportive friends and family to enjoy. What really made my day was that I actually sold two paintings. A 3-panel caterpillar that's about two years old, a bumblebee - about the same age. I have a handful of whimsical bugs and farm animals that have been in storage waiting for the perfect opportunity to be sold - before they just didn't mix with the ZuCru theme since it's Japanese influenced and includes Jeff's pottery, framed origami, and leaf prints. Now I have another creative outlet to share with Chrissy which makes me grin even bigger. I love painting -much like pottery is meditation and therapy for Jeff - that's what painting is for me. And knowing that people can appreciate my simplistic whimsical paintings makes it more fun. So along with my happy face that I gained from knowing little people were enjoying my prints - fellow vendors were shining light on me yesterday too.
Setting up yesterday, Mike, my marriage partner at the Market, was putting out his goodies that include handmade wooden spoons and cutting boards indulged me with a warpy black walnut cutting board. Later on my pursuit down the road for food I stopped to talk to Sondra who has the Scented Room, whic she handmakes lavender yummy body care goodies from body and foot scrubs to spritzers, gave me a gift of citrus basil sugar body scrub. It was her last tub and it hadn't sold that day. Her clientele hasn't picked up much on the new line and so she gave it to me since she has plenty of leftovers at home. I love her stuff. I use her lavender/peppermint salt scrub almost every day. (www.scentedroom.com) And fact be known, I scrubbed the little man (Te) with the sugar scrub tonight and of course he tried eating it. The Market day ended with Ron from Kelley Orchards of Weiser (www.kelleyorchards.com) bringing us a yummy bag full of cherries. And on top of all this goodwill among friends - I ran into Gil and Molly who make hammocks (http://www.dreamweavershammocks.com/) here locally in Boise and usually tour around the Pacific NW doing shows (even Sandpoint) - and was able to thank them for the chair hammock they so graciously tipped me with two weeks ago at our family printshop, TomKat Printing. (We print for Gil & Molly). So all in all - yesterday was a fabulous day and maybe that's God's way of telling me "Hey, get your a#$ out of bed earlier and see how rewarding it can be!" Perhaps tomorrow I'll start my 20 mile roundtrip commute with the early morning sun.
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