Whaaaa....eee.....Whiny....

Since last Friday Boo has been sick. We went to the doc for his 3-yr. old well baby check and Dr. Beauchaine informed us that the flu vaccine wasn't a great match this year. We were set to depart to Seattle for the weekend on Thursday but had to postpone our travel arrangements when he woke up Thursday with a cough and a runny nose. Most know that Te has cold-induced asthma, so when we're fighting a cold it's a pretty intense and aggressive regimen to keep the attacks at bay. We do not enjoy hospital stays and now that he's older they would probably be far more grueling.

Anyways - I think the doc jinxed us. I was originally going to go to WA by myself; however, Te would not have it. I had been prepping him for a week for airport security since the last time was a living hell. If I had continued with my old behavior I would of just left since Jeff said, "you'll be able to get more done." While at work I rationalized and I know the intensity level of Te's care - for the sake of my son, and my own sanity I made the decision to stay home. Jeff was surprised. After our very very long weekend (more me, then Jeff) - Thank God I made the right choice.

Saturday night Te started coughing a lot before the doc house down the street closed at 8pm. Because I couldn't decipher the cough from the nasal drip or the cough that sometimes develops because of his asthma I took him in. It was a fight as usual, what's new with a persistent little one who is sick and doesn't want to take off his shirt for nobody. We discovered an ear infection in the left ear. A prescription for antibiotics at 9pm at night and we're out the door. Each day we're fighting fevers and potential asthma attack outbreaks. Te gets fed up - and now we have to add one more thing to the regimen.

Tuesday he's still not eating,and the fever isn't breaking much below 100 degrees with alternating Motrin & Tylenol every 3 to 4 hours. Frustration for me is setting in because all Te will do is whine and I am suppose to decipher his words that have suddenly escaped him. I make an appointment to go see his pediatrician again and we come home with the diagnosis that Boo has the flu.

Finally today, Wednesday, he eats, he drinks, he plays and has just a little whine with his cheese. The fever finally broke last night so now we can eliminate fever medicine. He is sometimes obliging with breathing treatments, sometimes not...but at least today I feel on the uphill swing - especially since I can go five hours between breathing treatments instead of 3-4. And the best thing of all - his lungs sound great. Maybe this weekend I will get to sleep through the night and actually feel like I can do something during the day -like vacuum the house. I usually submiss when Boo gets sick to snuggling on the couch, but the whining, it almost drives me batty!

And the pic - it was from November/December when he got his shaggalicious haircut the first time. It is a little blurry but there are images of me that I remember when I was about his age - and he does truly look like me. It depends on the day.

Spring has Sprung?

These bluebird days have me looking forward to Spring. With each changing season, let alone each day, the little Mister too evolves into something new and wonderful. The things he says the way he acts it is a continuous joy to watch him learn and grow. Everyday I am grateful for my most treasured gift.

Barack Obama, Saturday, Feb. 2, 2008 - Boise, ID

Click on picture to see a larger version. This was forwarded to me from my friend, Manny.

Go Barack!

OK, So I can't stop talking

For the past week and half I've been purging in my life. Trying to seed out the things I know I don't need. Then, there are the things that have either some symbolic or emotional meaning and I desperately think I need to move beyond the attachment but I don't know how. I am trying to reach a simplistic rule of measure in our house - I am afraid of what it may become in thirty years - I wish I was more like my mother who seems to have this ability to detach herself from everything she has no means or purpose for. I don't know how she does it. Maybe because my whole life I've always created some meaning behind everything I've ever had whether significant or not. Now - almost two years later I am finally relinquishing all the unneccessary givings and inherited gifts of my father. There is so much luggage that I have absolutely no use for - yet - it signifies my dad and I can think of a thousands reasons why I should let it continue to hang around. If it were my dad - he'd tell me to get rid of the shit. I should practice perspective, and I am trying, but it's like if I purge I forget - although I know I don't - I do. How do I resolve this conflict? It's a catch-22. Not really. Although it seems like it. I just do not want to be thirty-years deep into my own stuff along with that of my father's and those yet to come. Perspective - it's a good thing. It's change - and change is opportunity in disguise.

What do I Say?

To me, as many, I am sure life seems to roll in waves. I often use the river as an analogy for comparing how you should roll with the challenges and joys that life gives you. I have many moments that I sit and contemplate, get frustrated, and wonder "what the hell?" With a simple snap of my fingers I respond with an optimistic attitude of "wowness" when I often reflect on the moment. I have so many things in life that I am grateful for and wonder how those moments of pessimism can be so overwhelming. Yet, it is all called being human. The human experience has to be the most rewarding and challenging opportunity of spirit. Once we can separate ourselves from having any kind of attachment then we have ultimately reached what bodhisattva's are here to teach. Ego is all tied up with keeping up with the Jones' and realistically just having those things that money can buy. The beauty of being is just being but it normally takes one a whole lifetime to understand and yet to achieve the understanding to pass on as one moves on can take a lifetime. And if you are one who has managed to realize the beauty of what presents itself now and can resonate that energy - you still have your moments when you question the moment -it is hard to eliminate that stinking ego!