Super Fabulous Sunday

Yesterday the Temeister and me ventured up to the Beach on the Main Payette just south of Banks with my good friend Julie and leisured in the sun and river for about 2.5 hours. It was awesome to just getaway for a couple hours and out of town - it is amazing what it can do for my attitude. We hung out on the sandbar which is perfect for Te since it's so shallow, and perfect for me since on one side it's almost like walking into the deep end. He was so self-contained and easy it was perfect. We managed to get home with three hours to spare to prepare for the BBQ we hosted last night for Tom's birthday, my birthday, & LaDawn's birthday. I worked non-stop from the moment I walked through the door until Duana & clan showed up at 6pm. Te slept until 545pm so that was an added bonus. Te had a fun-filled day with the river, friends, and family. Devin & Kobe are his best buds - it is fun to watch their dynamics evolve - they'll be very much like brothers as they get bigger and older. I am grateful for my relationship with Dui - for myself and for Te. Celso even managed to make an appearance which made all the better. I'll get some pictures posted of yesterday. Sundays are now my designated days to go to the Payette with Te - minus next weekend when Julie, Te, & I will be attending the Goddess Fest for some palm reading or something of the sorts :) In the Fall Sundays will turn into hiking days. I also did not turn my computer on the entire weekend which was a feat in and of itself - but actually very very liberating, so I think it will also be a new practice.

Trade

Anymore when I take photos of Te he insists that it is his turn to take pictures. He knows the difference between my camera and his dad's camera and I am now starting to teach him about the different parts of an SLR camera - thus far we've learned "viewfinder." My camera is a bit heavy for a little tyke to hold so we always make sure the strap is around the neck and have faith it will be safe in little hands. I know the weight can be a little cumbersome because today when I was commuting to work on my bike I was questioning myself on why my bag felt heavier today, I remembered I had my camera and it is always loaded with a 28-200 lens. Anyways in order for me to get the two photos I got of Te yesterday morning he had to take about five pics of momma - the best one of Te's is posted here and you can tell the before and after shot once I made a compromise with Te that if he let me take his picture eating his peanut butter and nutella toasted sandwich for breakfast he could take a photo of me.

35....

Whoa - I cannot believe I am 35. I don't feel 35. In fact, I don't think you ever really feel your age. Like my dad - I use to get so frustrated with him because I thought he should act more his age - or at least more grown up, and appear responsible. However, when I reflect back now - it's like how? Yes, you can be and act responsible at any age - but there is no harm in seeing the world through a child's eyes, or hearing with a child's ears - as Bernie Seigel would say "you will realize how funny life really is." So here's to my dad, as I age, I realize how much I really just want to feel childlike in my body. Meaning, seeing and experiencing life with a not so serious attitude. Life is short - it's meant to be a wonderful ride. Light and dark are the same, just reflect on the lessons you seek and set ego aside.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

New photos on the photo blog...http://changinghat.blogspot.com

Wow! A Title!

This week Te & I have had our fair share of quality time and I think it's reflecting in his responsive behavior. If I could stay home with my sweet man I would - every day - cause they grow super fast. Fortunate for him & daddy they get to spend their days together. However, this week I took Wednesday off since I was terribly sour on Monday & Tuesday and it helped my attitude a bit. All in all - we've had four activities outside of the house and without daddy where Te has had a fantastic time - a party, the river, the new park with water features, a play date with cousins. It's been more then good. As a result I think I was blessed today with his immediate responses to my commands or warnings which does not normally happen. Yes, I try to make him listen to me - but my boundaries are not as inhibiting as Jeff's - and I do try to let him just be. However, there are those moments in time where I just need him to listen to make my life easier. Since I've come home from Africa I have been way more consistent with shortening my boundaries a bit so that in the long term I don't drive myself insane due to me falling short in the early years. And I was blessed with progress today.

Aching for Change

I would say the most evident transformation from my experience to Africa has resulted in me not wanting to go back to the way things were. I have been aching for change in my life for probably more then a year, maybe two - but in the last 4 weeks it's like my mind is saying as well as my heart and my soul - change is now. The change I am aching for and embracing mostly falls on the work front. Working for family has it's ups and downs - and more often then not the ups far out weigh the downs. However, I am extremely underpaid for what I do, so with that said, I know my enthusiasm at work suffers which results in me being lackadaisical. If I want a raise then it falls in my lap to go out and solicit business so we can afford to give me a raise. If everyone was passionate about our business and actively trying to make the business grow and succeed perhaps my attitude would be different. But everyone is just doing it - going through the motions - that's it. Working hard for other people with really no reward. Yes, I am rewarded with the relationships I've created with our customers, I can continue to have those relationships without the overhead. The last couple days I have been more sour then usual, and before it starts affecting my relationship with my husband I need a pretty swift attitude change. I get sour with the biz, which I get sour with the in-laws, which I get sour with Jeff. Granted I should refrain from getting sour with Jeff - I just often times feel like I am in a rut and I am desperately trying to crawl out. I need to get rid of my sense of obligation to his family and pursue my passion. All will be fine and probably more grand if I reduce the amount of time I share at work. And if I make the time to get the hell out of town.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Te is such a sweet boy. Every day he amazes me with his stamina, sense of adventure, and his boy tendencies that keeps me on my toes. God Bless him. He is a good boy. A moment of quiet contemplation, a brief reprieve.

It's A Small World After All

So Saturday night at Cheryl's wedding I was sitting down snacking and sipping a beer when I met Miles Pietsch. He told me I've probably seen him in Boise, or at least his brother Scott who is an acupuncturist who looks just like him - except he's 6'6". I talked with Miles through out the night and he seems to be good people. Tonight as we were setting up for First Thursday on the block before the Grove I looked over at a potter who was setting up her stuff as I talked to my friend Mike and said, "I'll be right back, I'm going to see if this guy is Scott." I walked up and talked to Erin (the potter, Scott's wife) and pointed to Scott and said, "Is his name Scott?" And she's like, "yea." So then I proceeded to tell them the story of Miles this past weekend - and who would of thunk 4 days later I would be shaking hands with his brother.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

One Blue Moon Saturday. This was a self-portrait taken the morning of Cheryl's wedding shortly after we finished hiking for the morning and relaxing in the hot tub sipping wine prior to her monumental wedding day - 14 years of patiently waiting for the time to be just right -for Joe that is.

Headstone

Friday, June 29, 2007 I was in Richfield, Idaho to document my cousin's (Ciara) wedding. It was the first time I'd been back to Richfield since we buried my dad - and the first time I saw his monument. I wish in hindsight I would of remembered to bring some flowers. I thought it was pretty classic that the locals were living it up with ol' Mikey as is evident by the Mardi Gras beads. I know there are many people who miss the three dimensional spirit of my dad. There are so many moments in my life that pass that I wish he was here as my sounding board and as my comforting shoulder. I know he comforts me. I had a dream a couple weeks ago - a night when I was wishing my dad was still on the earth plane. I remember having two vivid dreams that showed me images of him writhing in pain had he continued his existence beyond his scheduled date of departure. Then following those dreams I had another image of me sleeping face down on my bed (formerly my dad's bed) with my dad over the top of me with one hand on my shoulder while he bent over and kissed me on the back of my head. It was a message telling me that he is still with me. The kiss was where you would find the "angel kiss" so many children come into this world with - it was a nice blessing.

Rrroarr On

Boy, it's probably a good thing God blessed me with Te; otherwise who knows what this party chic would be doing. This past weekend I spent time in Richfield & Ketchum documenting both a cousin's and good friend's wedding. My first photo opp was Friday night in Richfield and this party girl was fairly mild and put herself to bed at midnight knowing Saturday was a full-planned day. I woke early Saturday and headed North to Ketchum for all the pre-func before the wedding & pictures. We spent part of the morning hiking and early afternoon soaking ourselves hopping between the hot tub and the river up Warm Springs close to Frenchmen's Hot Springs. Early afternoon was spent watching girls fix their hair and apply their make-up. We headed to Baker Creek, documented one of the most beautiful weddings, and then it was off to Apple's Grill & Bar for a full night of partying and getting one's groove on. I stayed fairly responsible while drinking up until the jello shots came out - and I think the liquor did me in. Once I got some liquor in me, my rroarr was on and I partied till a bit past day break. Sometimes I wonder about myself and my party-girl tendencies, but at least now I have a sweet boy that keeps fairly sane. Had my family been with me the night would of been cut short by eight hours - I'm sure of it. Anyways - it's always good to let yourself loose occasionally - and pray that God keeps one safe.