Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Brainstorm
I am starting to feel my heart opening - it tingles - it is very liberating and I am thankful for that. All the junk we chose to pack close to our heart, constricting it and not allowing our hearts to give love. People talk about love, but do they really mean love. This is a wonderful ride I am on now - realizing by loving it enables you to let go - in every sense - be it one's spirit dancing to stares - who cares. Grounded in spirit.
I am feeling pretty great right now. I was just settling in to figuring out how I want this year's Market calendar to look and as always when I get a chance to be creative my brain goes on overload with ideas. I decided in my obnoxious brainstorm that as soon as school ends and the Market ceases for four months - I will sit down and write a grant. A grant to fund my documentary series on the lives of the producers - farmers, artisans, etc. Bringing the identity home - creating awareness and appreciation , memories. Still images. I am in a unique position since I have been a part of the Market family for three years, I know a lot of the vendors, am quite sociable if I say so myself, flexible. Intuitively this is what I hear myself saying I need to do, I will do, and it will be recognized. Not so much recognition for me - but recogntion of how important it is to sustain what we have, nurture it and help it grow. If we let a few do a job for millions, eventually the few die off and so do the millions.
It is something I can pay myself to do so that I can take time away from the printshop to work on the project with Te in tow - a friend in tow - who knows. Opening people's heart. It might be a one year project - or a forever project - which is beautiful by me.
Following the ebbs and flows of the producers.
Heart song. Heart opening, heart growing, heart singing. Bringing it home.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Love is everything, It has no conditions
I have been reading this book about Love by Deepak Chopra. It is good for my spirit. Since I finished my last class, Market Research, last Monday I have been on this quest towards liberating my soul. I feel great things are coming and am opening myself up to all possibilities. Instead of being my own worse judge - I am surrendering to love. Loving myself enables me to love others more completely. To have gratitude. It is something I have been seeking my whole life. Recognizing my spirit. I have six more weeks of class and then my Masters is complete. Right now I am remembering how to Master myself. Love is spirit. It is hard for us to remember what it is like to feel divine - I will remember, I want to remember in my conscious state. To be liberated - actively pursuing freedom - freedom of spirit.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Roadtrip to Sandpoint
This past week was my first road trip by myself in many moons. I have not driven myself across the state in probably ten years without a driving companion. Te came along for the ride - and I learned what life was like on the road as a single parent. Although challenging it was very rewarding - and I realized how much I missed my driving independence. Once I finish my MBA I am ready to start road-tripping it when I get a crazy hair and feel like venturing home to Sandpoint. When I originally left town on Thurs. (Aug. 24) I had anticipated taking I-84. However, upon my departure I was frustrated by the traffic traveling West due to an accident. I flipped a "U"ie on State Hwy something and said, screw it, I am going North. So once I hit Hwy 55 it was clean sailing. No annoying traffic - just me, my kid, the river, and the road.
I had been yearning for a roadtrip for a few weeks - I was very indecisive about whether I was flying or if I was driving to Sandpoint. Traveling by air is convenient with a toddler, however, it can be challenging when you are trying to figure out what is really necessary for a week on the water, and North Idaho weather. When I decided to drive I knew it would give me back some liberation, a bit of freeing of my soul, allowing my self to have conversations with those that have crossed over and a bit of alone time to drink in. Granted Te was in the rear - it was still an opportunity to be free. It was kind of funny - I've become so empathetic and full of emotion - when I got to the trees and smelt their yumminess on my ascent I started to cry. I realized how important trees are to me - they are much of who I am. Although I have thrived in the desert valley of Boise, Idaho - I really, really miss the scent and source of power that trees represent. Trees remind me of home.
Anyways - we were fortunate enough on our roadtrip outside of McCall to see a beautiful deer illuminated in the dusk light looking powerful, beautiful, and empowering on a rise in the road. Accompanied by many of her girlfriends of course. What I love about traveling home to Sandpoint is that the road feels like it's has been imprinted onto my soul. I say that because I could tell you most of the routes through Idaho to get me from Point A (South Idaho) to Point B (North Idaho) - or through Oregon or through Washington from all the numerous road trips I use to take with my Grandma Wilson, my dad, and by myself.
Our trip home included a golf benefit for Deana Dillon, one wedding for Molly and Luke, another wedding for Denise and Dave, reunion with Errin Ford & family and Brian Graves, and finally Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (HFMD). Yep, HFMD is another story. We got to see a lot of old and great friends at Molly's wedding which was hosted by Alex and Laura Wohleib. And more old and great friends at Marley Beach on Sunday when Errin Ford and his family (Lyza and Ella-roo), along with Brian Graves ventured out. Not only that - Te and I were able to reconnect with Kim Kocher and her son Jackson who is two weeks younger then Te. Kim is from Boise and we became acquainted through mutual friends - she moved to Sandpoint to work for Coldwater Creek and Jackson happens to be one of Te's first buddies. Gotta keep that alive :)
When Te and I ventured home on Wed we took a detour through St Maries in route to Fernwood to check out the Nodzu family's property. I was suppose to turn left onto Hwy 5 - missed it, didn't want to turn around, and said I'll do it next time. I actually have not driven Hwy 3 south to Moscow before so it was a bit of an adventure. Made me remember why I hate meeting up with logging trucks on narrow roads! I got to see Princeton and Harvard and a bunch of landscape that was great to drink in from a different persepective. It was nice. I love Idaho - I love life. Just making myself memories and making myself remember.
I had been yearning for a roadtrip for a few weeks - I was very indecisive about whether I was flying or if I was driving to Sandpoint. Traveling by air is convenient with a toddler, however, it can be challenging when you are trying to figure out what is really necessary for a week on the water, and North Idaho weather. When I decided to drive I knew it would give me back some liberation, a bit of freeing of my soul, allowing my self to have conversations with those that have crossed over and a bit of alone time to drink in. Granted Te was in the rear - it was still an opportunity to be free. It was kind of funny - I've become so empathetic and full of emotion - when I got to the trees and smelt their yumminess on my ascent I started to cry. I realized how important trees are to me - they are much of who I am. Although I have thrived in the desert valley of Boise, Idaho - I really, really miss the scent and source of power that trees represent. Trees remind me of home.
Anyways - we were fortunate enough on our roadtrip outside of McCall to see a beautiful deer illuminated in the dusk light looking powerful, beautiful, and empowering on a rise in the road. Accompanied by many of her girlfriends of course. What I love about traveling home to Sandpoint is that the road feels like it's has been imprinted onto my soul. I say that because I could tell you most of the routes through Idaho to get me from Point A (South Idaho) to Point B (North Idaho) - or through Oregon or through Washington from all the numerous road trips I use to take with my Grandma Wilson, my dad, and by myself.
Our trip home included a golf benefit for Deana Dillon, one wedding for Molly and Luke, another wedding for Denise and Dave, reunion with Errin Ford & family and Brian Graves, and finally Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (HFMD). Yep, HFMD is another story. We got to see a lot of old and great friends at Molly's wedding which was hosted by Alex and Laura Wohleib. And more old and great friends at Marley Beach on Sunday when Errin Ford and his family (Lyza and Ella-roo), along with Brian Graves ventured out. Not only that - Te and I were able to reconnect with Kim Kocher and her son Jackson who is two weeks younger then Te. Kim is from Boise and we became acquainted through mutual friends - she moved to Sandpoint to work for Coldwater Creek and Jackson happens to be one of Te's first buddies. Gotta keep that alive :)
When Te and I ventured home on Wed we took a detour through St Maries in route to Fernwood to check out the Nodzu family's property. I was suppose to turn left onto Hwy 5 - missed it, didn't want to turn around, and said I'll do it next time. I actually have not driven Hwy 3 south to Moscow before so it was a bit of an adventure. Made me remember why I hate meeting up with logging trucks on narrow roads! I got to see Princeton and Harvard and a bunch of landscape that was great to drink in from a different persepective. It was nice. I love Idaho - I love life. Just making myself memories and making myself remember.
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