Saturday, July 29, 2006
The Gods are Talking...
I have this bad habit of drinking expensive coffee. I keep telling myself I need to quit to support my new glass passion. Yesterday I went to my regular coffee stand, Executive Coffee, and waited in line for more then ten minutes with only one car in front of me. Who knows what they ordered. I was already late for work - so I could wait no longer - and decided to hit my old coffee house on Vista, Moxie Java. I got out of the car and rambled inside to again be detoured by more then a ten minute wait. This time the two people in front of me ordered 16 coffees to go! I should of walked out after my second eternal wait -but persisted - and was rewarded with a free coffee and free breakfast burrito due to a shift change. Later in the day, about 330pm, I decided I needed yet another coffee. The Gods were seriously trying to detour me for sure - since I ran into a parked car, my brother-in-law's that is. Fortunate for me I didn't damage my truck, and his car was already beat up from a previous accident. All the same - my lack of paying attention and my coffee fixation resulted in carelessness.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Life still moving too fast
Boy - I'll be happy as pig in shit come Dec. 4. It's a monumental date since I will finally be done with school. Life is still on overdrive. Adding a few glass fusing classes to my current life schedule has limited me on just quiet time for myself. Or, at least productive quiet time where I am suppose to be doing homework and instead I feel like cruising the Internet or the T.V. to learn about home improvement projects. Jeff, Te, and I will be venturing North to Sandpoint at the end of August. Redeem some sanity. By that time let's pray our little house in town will be in the mix for being sold. Jeff tore out the bathroom a week ago - now we have to make time to remodel. For some reason we feel inclined to finish texturing all the walls in the rest of the house. I cannot explain why we chose to make more work for ourselves - I guess it's our nature. It will pay off, it is just a matter of finding the time to do everything we need to do. Right now I feel like I am missing out on some quality time with Te - it is a bit frustrating. I will have a six week hiatus from school after Sept. 11 before my final Marketing class begins. I am looking forward to the time to get back to hiking - and trying desperately to commute by bike to work three times a week. I feel like getting my old physical self back - communing with nature which I miss - and grounding my soul. In due time. I'll look back 365 days from now and go "WoW." I know when I reflect back I will see how sound my judgements have been and how looking ahead instead of behind has propelled me forward. Always enjoying the journey.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Tears are Falling
Today I was driving home with my baby in the backseat when "Drift Away" a remake by Uncle Kracker came on. It was mine and Jeff's wedding song - almost two years ago. About two years ago that my daddy was diagnosed with lung cancer. When I heard the song I was singing it - and at the same crying - crying cause I had this beautiful vision in my head of my dad sitting on the picnic bench at Marley Beach watching Jeff and I dancing - and he was singing along to the song and smiling, smiling, smiling. It was a blessed day.
My dad was in the hospital the week prior to our wedding getting over three plus liters of fluid drained off his left lung which was pushing his heart over. He told all the people caring for him at the Spokane VA that he had to be out by Friday the 13th - his kid was getting married! Before they released him they tested the fluid and that's how we discovered he had adenocarcinoma.
My dad told my best friend Mikey he had cancer before he told me. They were both a bit worried about how I would react. For some reason when my dad told me, I knew he would be alright. I did not react like I thought I would react, and because dad always had such an optimistic attitude I thought he would be around forever.
I am grateful that God gave us the opportunity to share my wedding day - I am grateful that God gave my dad the time and opportunity to meet my son Te and to be with my little sister Melinda when she had Joshua. I am grateful that he had over a years worth of time to spend with my sisters and their families - to reconnect. And I am grateful God gave me, Jeff, and Te seven more months of his time. I always knew that I would be with my dad in the end - I just didn't know it would come so quickly. I desperately wanted my children to know my father - and they will through stories and memories. I have to remember I am his legacy, and so is Te. Te knows his "pop-pop" and I often wonder if dad still communicates with him.
I see him occasionally, not in a ghostly spirit kind of sense - I see his butterfly body. At his memorial service there was a butterfly and I know it was him. Often times now when I have questions or thoughts - a butterfly appears to give me reassurance. I know it's him - it's a good way for me to be OK with knowing he's around without physically seeing him. Call me crazy - but it's true. I cry often - cause I miss him and rightly so. No sobbing that's for sure - cause I know it's not forever. It's mostly when I am driving, or writing about him that makes my heart ache - knowing I can't get a much needed embrace.
My dad was in the hospital the week prior to our wedding getting over three plus liters of fluid drained off his left lung which was pushing his heart over. He told all the people caring for him at the Spokane VA that he had to be out by Friday the 13th - his kid was getting married! Before they released him they tested the fluid and that's how we discovered he had adenocarcinoma.
My dad told my best friend Mikey he had cancer before he told me. They were both a bit worried about how I would react. For some reason when my dad told me, I knew he would be alright. I did not react like I thought I would react, and because dad always had such an optimistic attitude I thought he would be around forever.
I am grateful that God gave us the opportunity to share my wedding day - I am grateful that God gave my dad the time and opportunity to meet my son Te and to be with my little sister Melinda when she had Joshua. I am grateful that he had over a years worth of time to spend with my sisters and their families - to reconnect. And I am grateful God gave me, Jeff, and Te seven more months of his time. I always knew that I would be with my dad in the end - I just didn't know it would come so quickly. I desperately wanted my children to know my father - and they will through stories and memories. I have to remember I am his legacy, and so is Te. Te knows his "pop-pop" and I often wonder if dad still communicates with him.
I see him occasionally, not in a ghostly spirit kind of sense - I see his butterfly body. At his memorial service there was a butterfly and I know it was him. Often times now when I have questions or thoughts - a butterfly appears to give me reassurance. I know it's him - it's a good way for me to be OK with knowing he's around without physically seeing him. Call me crazy - but it's true. I cry often - cause I miss him and rightly so. No sobbing that's for sure - cause I know it's not forever. It's mostly when I am driving, or writing about him that makes my heart ache - knowing I can't get a much needed embrace.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Te-tur Tot gets a Taste of the Fountain
Boy they grow like weeds! Te is going to be 18 months on Saturday - it's hard to believe my baby is already so big, even though he is still so small. Last year at this time we could take the little mister to the Market every Saturday and he would sit in the pack-n-play or sit in the Baby Bjorn and quietly watch the stream of people passing by. Nowadays, Te and Jeff arrive at Market every Saturday around noonish. There is NO way Te would sit for five hours - he would scream and insist to let him roam, to investigate his surroundings, and to make new friends. Plus - now that he's discovered the fountain - good luck keeping him out of it! This is actually the first time I've caught him lapping up the sprinkling water - and this past weekend was the first time he actually ran through the fountain. Normally he stands on the edge running around in a circle, drinking water off the ground, and letting only his hands get wet. The little people amaze me with what they absorb. Te knows many things beyond what we think he knows. Lately I have been teaching him how to show us he is "one" and he does it, just not on command. I also taught him how to say "peace" , next thing is to show him how to sign it. His parting words will be "peace" when he leaves his friends :).
He identifies with many things - I would imagine his vocabulary knowledge is close to a 100 words - just because he seems to know a lot. He knows his body, he knows his animals beyond just cat and dog , he knows his shoes, he knows "ow" - he can pick out toys you ask him to retrieve, he knows his vitamins, to brush his teeth - and even floss, he knows bath, he knows outside, he knows ride. Which when Te wants a ride - it's usually a ride on a hand truck around the print shop or through the back yard. He just knows more then I can imagine. I am excited to one day hear his sentences flow freely, even though I really enjoy where he's at right now and would be glad to stop time. I am excited to see how he will continue to teach me and how he helps my heart to open up and love. He is a beautiful thing - and I am truly blessed.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
What I Miss
Today is one of those days where I miss my grandma, where I miss my house I grew up in, where I miss peddling down the streets of Sandpoint to go to the Lake, where I miss the Lake, where I miss everything that represents what life was like 25 years ago. Life was good growing up on the corner of Cedar and Division in Sandpoint. It was modest, simple, and just plain great. No worries.
This is about the time the raspberries would be coming on in the garden, a little bit of lettuce to make sugar lettuce rolls...playing outside all day...and sneaking away to the Lake to get a bit refreshed.
I know that Sandpoint has changed a lot in 25 years - I've experienced it - and I know how much different life is like now verse then. You just can't compare summer days on the Lake. When your parents tell you about what they use to do and reminisce about their good times - I am to the point now where I can totally relate.
The 4th of July in Sandpoint was always a celebration of fun and family. Often times everyone would come home for a mini reunion. My two sisters, myself, and my cousin Anji would always get dressed up by our Aunt Terry and entered into the Children's Parade...in fact one year we won second place. (Our theme that year was Little Red Riding Hood.) Te is 17 months - and even though I know he would enjoy some of the 4th of July - we're waiting till next year when we know he'll enjoy all of the 4th of July - from the early morning parade straight through to the early evening fireworks.
This year while I remember what the 4th of July was like when I was nine - I am suppose to be writing a paper for my Marketing class. I keep telling myself I am almost there. That's one thing I won't miss, school - and those early morning swimming lessons at 730am in Lake Pend Oreille! Brrrr Grandma!
This is about the time the raspberries would be coming on in the garden, a little bit of lettuce to make sugar lettuce rolls...playing outside all day...and sneaking away to the Lake to get a bit refreshed.
I know that Sandpoint has changed a lot in 25 years - I've experienced it - and I know how much different life is like now verse then. You just can't compare summer days on the Lake. When your parents tell you about what they use to do and reminisce about their good times - I am to the point now where I can totally relate.
The 4th of July in Sandpoint was always a celebration of fun and family. Often times everyone would come home for a mini reunion. My two sisters, myself, and my cousin Anji would always get dressed up by our Aunt Terry and entered into the Children's Parade...in fact one year we won second place. (Our theme that year was Little Red Riding Hood.) Te is 17 months - and even though I know he would enjoy some of the 4th of July - we're waiting till next year when we know he'll enjoy all of the 4th of July - from the early morning parade straight through to the early evening fireworks.
This year while I remember what the 4th of July was like when I was nine - I am suppose to be writing a paper for my Marketing class. I keep telling myself I am almost there. That's one thing I won't miss, school - and those early morning swimming lessons at 730am in Lake Pend Oreille! Brrrr Grandma!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed
I don't know what came over me yesterday - I was up and at 'em and ready to splat 'em at 7am on a Saturday morning. Actually Saturdays are always my early morning rise since that's Market day. My favorite day of the week. Jeff and I (ZuCru Creations) sell our handcrafted ware every Saturday April thru October at Boise's Capital City Public Market. This is our third season. Normally when I arrive the hustle and bustle of vendors preparing for the day's sales is well into third gear. This Saturday I was the first one in my section to actually "pop the top" on my canopy - I was a bit perplexed with where I should actually position it within the chalked guidelines since I didn't have neighbors yet - and wasn't normally squeezing myself in. I arrived at 745am. Almost 40 minutes earlier then my normal arrival time. I got an early start because beyond sharing a booth with Jeff, I am also sharing a booth with one of my childhood friends, Chrissy Kramer. Together we are selling whimsical, vibrant, and colorful paintings geared toward the child audience. So thanks to my "early bird gets the worm" attitude I actually had 30 minutes of disposable time to visit with fellow vendors, run and get coffee, and just drink in the beginnings of a beautiful day.
Yesterday was an exceptional day. There was an abundance of Market patrons even for the long holiday weekend. Most of my sales for the day were complete before noon. I love the Market cause you see old friends, make new friends, experience a great venue for people watching, and the opportunity is always knocking to sell your goods to someone other then your supportive friends and family to enjoy. What really made my day was that I actually sold two paintings. A 3-panel caterpillar that's about two years old, a bumblebee - about the same age. I have a handful of whimsical bugs and farm animals that have been in storage waiting for the perfect opportunity to be sold - before they just didn't mix with the ZuCru theme since it's Japanese influenced and includes Jeff's pottery, framed origami, and leaf prints. Now I have another creative outlet to share with Chrissy which makes me grin even bigger. I love painting -much like pottery is meditation and therapy for Jeff - that's what painting is for me. And knowing that people can appreciate my simplistic whimsical paintings makes it more fun. So along with my happy face that I gained from knowing little people were enjoying my prints - fellow vendors were shining light on me yesterday too.
Setting up yesterday, Mike, my marriage partner at the Market, was putting out his goodies that include handmade wooden spoons and cutting boards indulged me with a warpy black walnut cutting board. Later on my pursuit down the road for food I stopped to talk to Sondra who has the Scented Room, whic she handmakes lavender yummy body care goodies from body and foot scrubs to spritzers, gave me a gift of citrus basil sugar body scrub. It was her last tub and it hadn't sold that day. Her clientele hasn't picked up much on the new line and so she gave it to me since she has plenty of leftovers at home. I love her stuff. I use her lavender/peppermint salt scrub almost every day. (www.scentedroom.com) And fact be known, I scrubbed the little man (Te) with the sugar scrub tonight and of course he tried eating it. The Market day ended with Ron from Kelley Orchards of Weiser (www.kelleyorchards.com) bringing us a yummy bag full of cherries. And on top of all this goodwill among friends - I ran into Gil and Molly who make hammocks (http://www.dreamweavershammocks.com/) here locally in Boise and usually tour around the Pacific NW doing shows (even Sandpoint) - and was able to thank them for the chair hammock they so graciously tipped me with two weeks ago at our family printshop, TomKat Printing. (We print for Gil & Molly). So all in all - yesterday was a fabulous day and maybe that's God's way of telling me "Hey, get your a#$ out of bed earlier and see how rewarding it can be!" Perhaps tomorrow I'll start my 20 mile roundtrip commute with the early morning sun.
Yesterday was an exceptional day. There was an abundance of Market patrons even for the long holiday weekend. Most of my sales for the day were complete before noon. I love the Market cause you see old friends, make new friends, experience a great venue for people watching, and the opportunity is always knocking to sell your goods to someone other then your supportive friends and family to enjoy. What really made my day was that I actually sold two paintings. A 3-panel caterpillar that's about two years old, a bumblebee - about the same age. I have a handful of whimsical bugs and farm animals that have been in storage waiting for the perfect opportunity to be sold - before they just didn't mix with the ZuCru theme since it's Japanese influenced and includes Jeff's pottery, framed origami, and leaf prints. Now I have another creative outlet to share with Chrissy which makes me grin even bigger. I love painting -much like pottery is meditation and therapy for Jeff - that's what painting is for me. And knowing that people can appreciate my simplistic whimsical paintings makes it more fun. So along with my happy face that I gained from knowing little people were enjoying my prints - fellow vendors were shining light on me yesterday too.
Setting up yesterday, Mike, my marriage partner at the Market, was putting out his goodies that include handmade wooden spoons and cutting boards indulged me with a warpy black walnut cutting board. Later on my pursuit down the road for food I stopped to talk to Sondra who has the Scented Room, whic she handmakes lavender yummy body care goodies from body and foot scrubs to spritzers, gave me a gift of citrus basil sugar body scrub. It was her last tub and it hadn't sold that day. Her clientele hasn't picked up much on the new line and so she gave it to me since she has plenty of leftovers at home. I love her stuff. I use her lavender/peppermint salt scrub almost every day. (www.scentedroom.com) And fact be known, I scrubbed the little man (Te) with the sugar scrub tonight and of course he tried eating it. The Market day ended with Ron from Kelley Orchards of Weiser (www.kelleyorchards.com) bringing us a yummy bag full of cherries. And on top of all this goodwill among friends - I ran into Gil and Molly who make hammocks (http://www.dreamweavershammocks.com/) here locally in Boise and usually tour around the Pacific NW doing shows (even Sandpoint) - and was able to thank them for the chair hammock they so graciously tipped me with two weeks ago at our family printshop, TomKat Printing. (We print for Gil & Molly). So all in all - yesterday was a fabulous day and maybe that's God's way of telling me "Hey, get your a#$ out of bed earlier and see how rewarding it can be!" Perhaps tomorrow I'll start my 20 mile roundtrip commute with the early morning sun.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Dilemma
My cousin Val, wants to give her sister Anji one of her German Shepherd pups for her upcoming birthday. It took Anji two days to call her sister back and tell her "her plan." Her plan - 'I don't think I should take the puppy because with work and traveling a lot and I already have two pups that don't get the attention they deserve...you should give the pup to Liz. Liz is a dog person and she just lost her dog Max - Liz will take the dog.' So last night Anji asked me if I would take the pup. Of course upon this suggestion Val had to give Anj a hard time and tell her "oh great, this will be just like the baseball glove." (another story) My first response was yes I'll take the pup.
Today after a night of sleeping on it I think it might be in our best interest not to take the pup only because we have so much stuff going on. And a pup, for those of us who know - is work, much like having a child - I'll have to potty train again and be consistent in disciplining the dog all the time for a good two years. That's OK - my concern is the hair and what it's like to have one more dog. Traveling with one dog is far easier then traveling with two.
The dilemma is this...I love my cousin Val and to have something that's hers is a big deal. It's a big deal because who knows how much longer her walk on this plane will last. You see, she's one of God's creations that are unexplainable - people can't fathom her story cause she doesn't tell people and when one of her relatives talk about her people are awed because she is "awe" full.
Val has been living with a soft tissue sarcoma since she was about 25. At the time she was told she had six months to live, she has lived sixteen years. I call her the "bionic woman" or the "six million dollar woman" because that's what she is. A little flavor...she has one lung, a third of her stomach, and maybe a third of her small intestine, no large intestine, a metal plate to replace some lost ribs...and that's just getting started. These past few months she's endured brain surgery, heart surgery - always to come home just a few days later. She's a guenia pig for science and there have been numerous articles written about her - and resident doctors always asking her what has helped her to continue living when so many would of surrendered by now. Her answer, responsibility.
Val is definitely not a quitter and I know God will take her when she is good and ready to let go - so taking this puppy is a dilemma since Anji told me I would have to call Val and tell her "no" if I don't. Thanks Anj. I wonder if you can shave German Shepherds?
Today after a night of sleeping on it I think it might be in our best interest not to take the pup only because we have so much stuff going on. And a pup, for those of us who know - is work, much like having a child - I'll have to potty train again and be consistent in disciplining the dog all the time for a good two years. That's OK - my concern is the hair and what it's like to have one more dog. Traveling with one dog is far easier then traveling with two.
The dilemma is this...I love my cousin Val and to have something that's hers is a big deal. It's a big deal because who knows how much longer her walk on this plane will last. You see, she's one of God's creations that are unexplainable - people can't fathom her story cause she doesn't tell people and when one of her relatives talk about her people are awed because she is "awe" full.
Val has been living with a soft tissue sarcoma since she was about 25. At the time she was told she had six months to live, she has lived sixteen years. I call her the "bionic woman" or the "six million dollar woman" because that's what she is. A little flavor...she has one lung, a third of her stomach, and maybe a third of her small intestine, no large intestine, a metal plate to replace some lost ribs...and that's just getting started. These past few months she's endured brain surgery, heart surgery - always to come home just a few days later. She's a guenia pig for science and there have been numerous articles written about her - and resident doctors always asking her what has helped her to continue living when so many would of surrendered by now. Her answer, responsibility.
Val is definitely not a quitter and I know God will take her when she is good and ready to let go - so taking this puppy is a dilemma since Anji told me I would have to call Val and tell her "no" if I don't. Thanks Anj. I wonder if you can shave German Shepherds?
Friday, June 23, 2006
Overdrive
Here we go again. My third to last class began on Tuesday, Consumer Behavior. It appears to be a fairly interesting topic since it has to do with understanding consumers and their buying behaviors - what drives them. A mix of sociology, psychology and a few other 'ologies'. Back to buggy girl mode. When I am in school and work and try to manage our art business I get a little buggy. Buggy cause I can never manage my time well enough to make quiet time for myself. I am on the countdown. I have 17.5 weeks of school left to complete my Masters. Then...I am sure I'll find something else that I must study.
Actually, getting a flavor for what life could be like without school this past six weeks has been very enlightening. When I don't have school to attend to - I have time to attend to gardening, hiking, playing, and creating art. It's rather liberating. So we'll see what new pursuits I'll have come the new year.
I talked with this lady Lisa about apprenticing and helping her in her glass studio. She blows glass - manipulates it and such to create vessels. I figure if I indulge myself in all the different methods of working with glass - the next thing you'll know - I'll be a glass guru. My workshop in glass fusing starts on my birthday (the 17th) - so I am pretty excited to see where this glass stuff will take me.
On top of learning about glass, work, school, art biz, momma & wife, we still need to get our little house in town sold. September I'll have a little time to say "whew" for about six weeks. It will give me just enough time to build up my holiday inventory for Beaux Arts, the Holiday Market, and hopefully POAC will do another Holiday Show to give me good reason to travel hairy roads to go home. Then come Dec. 4 - I can surrender to life without school and maybe think about a new addition to our family.
Actually, getting a flavor for what life could be like without school this past six weeks has been very enlightening. When I don't have school to attend to - I have time to attend to gardening, hiking, playing, and creating art. It's rather liberating. So we'll see what new pursuits I'll have come the new year.
I talked with this lady Lisa about apprenticing and helping her in her glass studio. She blows glass - manipulates it and such to create vessels. I figure if I indulge myself in all the different methods of working with glass - the next thing you'll know - I'll be a glass guru. My workshop in glass fusing starts on my birthday (the 17th) - so I am pretty excited to see where this glass stuff will take me.
On top of learning about glass, work, school, art biz, momma & wife, we still need to get our little house in town sold. September I'll have a little time to say "whew" for about six weeks. It will give me just enough time to build up my holiday inventory for Beaux Arts, the Holiday Market, and hopefully POAC will do another Holiday Show to give me good reason to travel hairy roads to go home. Then come Dec. 4 - I can surrender to life without school and maybe think about a new addition to our family.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Estate Frustrations
Yesterday was a buggy day. 95% my fault for being a dumbass. Yesterday I was looking at my dad's checking account online and discovered that yet again another $777 was automatically being extracted from his account. This is the third unauthorized transaction to occur in the last month which has cost me almost $2000. $2000 I don't have since Jeff is a part-timer and since we decided to live in dad's house and increase our money going out by three times what we bring in. When our house sells the slate will be clean it is just until we sell our house - which is another story.
Anyhow - upon my discovery I paniced and raced to the bank to only be transfered and put on hold about six different times within forty minutes with the assistance of a banking associate. Through both our frustration we put our agony to a temporary halt and I went back to work to try and resolve the issue on my own. Filing a claim. My sole attempt was ixnayed within five minutes. I was told by customer service that they could not help me and that I had to physically go into the branch who had my power of attorney paperwork on file. I just came from there!
What is boils down to is the gentleman, Brian, who initially helped us on the 18th of May to close some of dad's accounts, stop the ACH, and file a claim for the first initial $777 that came out on the 17th - didn't do what he said he did. The thing that stinks when people die intestate is that it sometimes causes a HUGE headache - sometimes not. The only reason I have left dad's account open is because his mortgage payment automatically gets deducted from his account every two weeks. I should of called the mortgage lender and told them to take it out of a different account and closed dad's orginal account to eliminate my unforseen headache.
Lesson One: Try not to die intestate.
Lesson Two: Keep accurate records for kin and even though ACH is convenient, don't do it, it's a headache for kin.
Lesson Three: Kin should always think and act consciously even in times of stress and hardship to eliminate unnecessary headaches.
Anyhow - upon my discovery I paniced and raced to the bank to only be transfered and put on hold about six different times within forty minutes with the assistance of a banking associate. Through both our frustration we put our agony to a temporary halt and I went back to work to try and resolve the issue on my own. Filing a claim. My sole attempt was ixnayed within five minutes. I was told by customer service that they could not help me and that I had to physically go into the branch who had my power of attorney paperwork on file. I just came from there!
What is boils down to is the gentleman, Brian, who initially helped us on the 18th of May to close some of dad's accounts, stop the ACH, and file a claim for the first initial $777 that came out on the 17th - didn't do what he said he did. The thing that stinks when people die intestate is that it sometimes causes a HUGE headache - sometimes not. The only reason I have left dad's account open is because his mortgage payment automatically gets deducted from his account every two weeks. I should of called the mortgage lender and told them to take it out of a different account and closed dad's orginal account to eliminate my unforseen headache.
Lesson One: Try not to die intestate.
Lesson Two: Keep accurate records for kin and even though ACH is convenient, don't do it, it's a headache for kin.
Lesson Three: Kin should always think and act consciously even in times of stress and hardship to eliminate unnecessary headaches.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Graphic Day in the Valley
Something horrific happened here in the Boise Valley yesterday. Some crazy man beheaded his ex-wife and then proceeded to kill a mother and her child when he purposefully veered his truck into oncoming traffic. The head of his ex-wife laid on the roadway following the crash - he was toting it in the bed of his pick-up.
This incident had a strong impact on Jeff - it was evident when he came home from watching UFC at Steve's. Jeff is a worry wart and that is saying it mildly. I suffered through his rage as he expressed to me how I needed to call so he knew when and if we were coming home - he said he didn't like leaving the house without knowing what was up with Te...where he is, or what he is doing. It makes me sad for both Jeff and Te. Jeff because he worries too much about things that are out of his control, and Te because he has an overprotective father who I know will have trouble letting go one day. Right now I think he fails to remember what trauma he put his own parents through. I have faith Jeff will get through this - it's just unpleasant when I am the victim of his emotions. I try not to buy into his somewhat pessimitic perceptions. Life with children changes you, you can have faith or you can constantly worry yourself gray. I choose to have faith that I will raise my children to make conscious decisions and know that the things in life you cannot control are not worth worrying about - it's called faith.
Another sad incident happened yesterday as well. A black puppy dog was found burned over 75-80% of his body and he had bumps and bruises from being dragged. I think people who offend animals should be accountable for their crime much like they would be if they offended another human. It is a misdemeanor to harm an animal, it's a felony when applied to humans. Frankly I think anyone who intentionally goes out and hurts anything should be held accountable for their actions. I guess that's why there is karma...or judgement day, or whatever you want to call it.
This incident had a strong impact on Jeff - it was evident when he came home from watching UFC at Steve's. Jeff is a worry wart and that is saying it mildly. I suffered through his rage as he expressed to me how I needed to call so he knew when and if we were coming home - he said he didn't like leaving the house without knowing what was up with Te...where he is, or what he is doing. It makes me sad for both Jeff and Te. Jeff because he worries too much about things that are out of his control, and Te because he has an overprotective father who I know will have trouble letting go one day. Right now I think he fails to remember what trauma he put his own parents through. I have faith Jeff will get through this - it's just unpleasant when I am the victim of his emotions. I try not to buy into his somewhat pessimitic perceptions. Life with children changes you, you can have faith or you can constantly worry yourself gray. I choose to have faith that I will raise my children to make conscious decisions and know that the things in life you cannot control are not worth worrying about - it's called faith.
Another sad incident happened yesterday as well. A black puppy dog was found burned over 75-80% of his body and he had bumps and bruises from being dragged. I think people who offend animals should be accountable for their crime much like they would be if they offended another human. It is a misdemeanor to harm an animal, it's a felony when applied to humans. Frankly I think anyone who intentionally goes out and hurts anything should be held accountable for their actions. I guess that's why there is karma...or judgement day, or whatever you want to call it.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Addiction
I must be on the cusp of enlightenment. Lately my mind just reels with ideas to create - crossing all medium boundaries. The glass class really ignited my creative fire. Last night I almost completed my octupus painting for Saturday's Market, and I managed to assemble five different wedding invitation samples for my friend Molly.
This wedding invitation is a problem. A problem because I have a zillion ideas and should only send Molly the five samples I have finished - except, I have like twenty more I want to make. After this...I'll just put them all into an online portfolio and start selling custom wedding invitations.
I believe EVERYTHING is about timing. Had Te not spent five days in the hospital, if my dad had not died three days after Te came home...I would still be living in the mucky muck of grump. I turn into mucky muck grump when I go to school, work full-time, run our small art business, and try to be a wife, momma, and sane. What happened was I was forced to take an incomplete on my last class, then my next professor failed to show up for my direted study. (That shit happens online...they seem less accountable.) Since my prof didn't show I have been on a six week break from school and this last week has been a HUGE shift in my consciousness. Thank God. All my creative juices that fled me like a year ago - are bombarding me now.
I am ready to incorporate.
This wedding invitation is a problem. A problem because I have a zillion ideas and should only send Molly the five samples I have finished - except, I have like twenty more I want to make. After this...I'll just put them all into an online portfolio and start selling custom wedding invitations.
I believe EVERYTHING is about timing. Had Te not spent five days in the hospital, if my dad had not died three days after Te came home...I would still be living in the mucky muck of grump. I turn into mucky muck grump when I go to school, work full-time, run our small art business, and try to be a wife, momma, and sane. What happened was I was forced to take an incomplete on my last class, then my next professor failed to show up for my direted study. (That shit happens online...they seem less accountable.) Since my prof didn't show I have been on a six week break from school and this last week has been a HUGE shift in my consciousness. Thank God. All my creative juices that fled me like a year ago - are bombarding me now.
I am ready to incorporate.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
The Beast
I found it a home...they say it runs...I am turning my $5 novice auction award into a tax deductible donation. Thank you Idaho Youth Ranch.
The Novice
Today is a grand day - my lost cat Critter came home, and I was also able to catch our ferrel cat BW so they now can both be transplanted to our new home.
I will also find out if my $5 copy machine is a great deal or a real pain in my derriere. Call me an online auction novice - silly me thought someone would outbid me on a copy machine for $5 - no one did and now I get to go through the headache of transporting it and finding a place to store it. Do not always believe what you see on the screen - the picture was deceiving - my copier is well over 8 ft long and 2900 pounds. I should of done my research.
I went to a glass fusing party with my friend Reham the other day. This was my first opportunity to work with glass as an artistic medium and I can see why it is addictive. Now I find it a necessity to partner our potters kiln with a glass kiln in our studio. With my father passing a month ago - it was really liberating to have my creative energy flow so freely. For me, creating art is therapeutic, meditative, and very soul-centering. Since Monday and the glass party I have signed up for an intro glass fusing class, a workshop on frit, thrown a pot on the wheel, and sketched out two large paintings for this weekend's market! Funny how one thing can reignite the fire.
The events of this past month - which would make a great country song - have me optimistic. Most people in the face of death often retreat, me on the other hand have dealt with death numerous times early in life and losing my daddy, my best friend, I thought would be HUGELY overwhelming. However, I find myself living his optimistic attitude - and one just needs to keep on keeping on. I feel like I am taking flight and one day when I look back I will remember how far I have come and how the month of May 2006 transformed me. I am working towards manifesting my dream...thriving visual artist...that's me.
I will also find out if my $5 copy machine is a great deal or a real pain in my derriere. Call me an online auction novice - silly me thought someone would outbid me on a copy machine for $5 - no one did and now I get to go through the headache of transporting it and finding a place to store it. Do not always believe what you see on the screen - the picture was deceiving - my copier is well over 8 ft long and 2900 pounds. I should of done my research.
I went to a glass fusing party with my friend Reham the other day. This was my first opportunity to work with glass as an artistic medium and I can see why it is addictive. Now I find it a necessity to partner our potters kiln with a glass kiln in our studio. With my father passing a month ago - it was really liberating to have my creative energy flow so freely. For me, creating art is therapeutic, meditative, and very soul-centering. Since Monday and the glass party I have signed up for an intro glass fusing class, a workshop on frit, thrown a pot on the wheel, and sketched out two large paintings for this weekend's market! Funny how one thing can reignite the fire.
The events of this past month - which would make a great country song - have me optimistic. Most people in the face of death often retreat, me on the other hand have dealt with death numerous times early in life and losing my daddy, my best friend, I thought would be HUGELY overwhelming. However, I find myself living his optimistic attitude - and one just needs to keep on keeping on. I feel like I am taking flight and one day when I look back I will remember how far I have come and how the month of May 2006 transformed me. I am working towards manifesting my dream...thriving visual artist...that's me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)